Tag: #emotionalhealth

Feeling safe and secure

In Anxiety & Fears, Coping Strategies, Coping Strategy, Emotions, Mental Wellbeing, Self Help, Self-care, Self-Development, Wellness

One of the conditions in modern societies that often contributes to stress and anxieties is feeling insecure, threatened, or unsafe. There are many other factors to stress, anxiety and emotional disturbances. But, I want to address issues close to my heart; intrapsychic safety and security. I want to specifically address feeling unsafe and insecure.

Feeling unsafe intrapsychically will inevitably convert to maladaptive behaviours and compulsivity. Feeling insecure intrapsychically often lead to a lack of confidence in one’s own abilities and skills and distrustful of others, and the world.

Generally, feelings are my friend, and I have made acquaintances with almost all of my emotions. I had come to accept feelings and emotions as a part of my experiences to be felt. I had embraced and incorporated feelings and emotions within my being. I have also allowed myself to mindfully and consciously express the feeling felt. I had even released inherited, trapped and preconception emotions, as well as unblocking heart-wall emotions. I had healed compound and post-traumatic emotional reverberation too. But, as an empath, I had learned the hard way how my feelings can still affect me, and most importantly, how other people’s emotions also impacted me. I had occasionally absorbed other people’s emotional resonances, and I had allowed that to affect me.

Feeling unsafe and insecure are intrapsychic emotions. They are the core woundings from a less than ideal early environment in childhood. But, we do not have to let the past define the present or the future. These feelings often stemmed from inconsistency, chaotic and dismissive attachment patterns from our caregivers. But, they are not to blame because they too were the victim of their core woundings.

Feeling unsafe arises when our external environment was hostile and threatening. A child may feel unsafe when their sense of self is physically or emotionally threatened. A child will also feel unsafe, lonely and abandoned when the caregiver is absent or when she is left alone for an extended period. If there is no one to mirror our being, we can lose sight of our beingness. The experiences can trigger body-memory retention, and their physiological response is usually a hypersensitivity to threats in the exterior world. Their fight/flight/freeze response is constantly on the alert and they are hypervigilant to fearful arousal. Imagine the toll this has on the body when it is permanently on alert.

Feeling insecure, succeed feeling unsafe. When feeling insecure, a child feels awkward and inadequate in their abilities, skills and resources. The child lacks confidence, have doubts and distrusts themself, others and the world. Thus, the child will grow up to seek validation from the exterior world, thinking it would soothe their inner sanctum. When we are insecure about ourselves, we compensate for the lacking by constantly looking for ways to feel safe and secure. We also compensate by avoiding situations or people, and we may become controlling, adopting perfectionistic traits, or have obsessive-compulsive behaviours. We will often look for what is missing within outside of ourselves. We do this by collecting (material) things, including having people around us that makes us feel good. Unfortunately, we will not fully soothe that void looking externally when our intrapsychic world is unsafe.

When I feel unsafe going someplace new, I used to make sure that I was early to the event. I would make sure that I arrived at least half an hour before the meeting to have time to settle down and relaxed. This behaviour allows me to feel like I was in control and it was a way of alleviating the discomfort, rather than looking at what was the cause. My strategy was to find ways to have control of situations or events. It was a strategy that worked for a time. Eventually, I had to look within to self-soothe.

In the perpetual cycle of self-fulling prophecy, a person seeks ways to feel safe and secure when feeling unsafe and insecure. However, you can find a way to self-soothe and settle the insecurity within the psyche. Here’s the good news. There are ways in which you can help yourself.

Here are some of the tools and techniques to help you build confidence, esteem and worth. They worked for me and I hope that they work for you too.

Make time for Self-care

Always put yourself first, you matter the most! This is not a selfish thought, but rather a self-care process. You have to look after number one (YOU). You have to move past caring for others first. Undoubtedly, we were conditioned to be considered, to be nice, to be kind to others. We were told to think of others, to be helpful and to be thoughtful of others. We were taught to believe that it matters what others think about us. But, in so doing, we neglected our own needs and care. I certainly thought that if I was helpful, nice and kind, somehow, I would feel safe in being altruistic.

However, it is more important that you treat yourself kindly through self-care rituals than being concerned with other’s people opinions. Self-care ritual is not simply just taking care of yourself physically, but also mentally too. Self-care mental constructs include positive words of affirmation for yourself, have compassion for mistakes of past events, and forgive yourself. For example, I have positive confirmations post-it notes all around the house to remind me of the positive qualities such as “I am safe!”, “I am comfortable in my skin!” etc.

Stop making excuses and start doing

When our external world is unsafe, we introspect and come to believe that our inner world is too. As we continue to think this way, we start to look for ways to feel safe and be safe. We tend to see threats when there are none. We make excuses for people, things and situations to minimise the threat, which may be imaginary. We may make excuses to change our behaviours and our mindsets because we are complacent in the familiar. This can keep us stuck in hypervigilant behaviours.

Change is inevitable and we should embrace it. If you have a resistance to change, start with something small. Perhaps begin with a small change of routine, such as change the direction to work. Walk on a different side of the road! When we start to take these small steps to change it gets easier.

Reframe the way you think

What we think, we will manifest because it was impressed in the mind. If you think that you are not safe, lacking in confidence or not worthy you are essentially broadcasting this unconsciously. We don’t consciously mean to send out these unconscious perceptions but we do, and we project it.

Have you ever experience discomfort or uneasiness in a situation with someone and you don’t know why? It is possible that that person had unconsciously broadcast messages to your unconsciousness. You cannot see it but it is there. Just like the radiowaves being broadcasted from a radio station, you cannot see the radio wave but it is there nonetheless.

Reframing your thinking style simply means reverting the way you think. If you tend to be pessimistic, revert this to be optimistic. It is simply about changing your automatic thoughts and make them conscious. You will need to watch what you think to reframe your thoughts. If you often find yourself saying that you cannot do something, change this to you can! It is about fake it until you make it.

Remind yourself that you are loved

When we feel unsafe, threatened or insecure it is often because the love is not there. Our feelings begin internally as a result of an external stimulus that we introject, but we could also be absorbing other’s people energy and emotion, unconsciously. We can protect ourselves and keep safe by reminding ourselves that we are loved. We are loved by God. We are loved by the Higher Power. We are loved and we can draw power from the universe to recharge our battery, just as we recharge our body through grounding.

We simply need to visualise ourselves being loved, imagine feeling loved, feeling protected and feeling safe within the loving embrace. Try it, find a quiet place, be still and silent. Close your eyes and imagine feeling loved. Even if you have not experienced love in your reality, you can still imagine what it would be like to have loving feelings for yourself. It might help to think about what you love, to experience loving feelings.

I love my inner child! I imagine her face, the innocent, the bright eyes and I recalled other special features to help me feel that love. It might help if you have a photo of the child that you were. Really see her/him. Feel the love for her/him. Take as long as you need. You will know the experience of love when tears well up in your eyes. It might take some practising especially if your experiences of love was absent or hostile or if you are not connected to the essence of your inner child.

Once you have experienced love for yourself, you can emit and project that love towards others. Then wait, watch and see that love returned to you. According to the Universal Law of Attraction, what we give out, we will attract.

With faith, hope and trust, you too can find your safety and security intrapsychically within your inner world. If you hold love and positive intention within your heart, you will receive what you give out.

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Bless the Stress

In Compassion, Coping Strategies, Coping Strategy, Emotions, Mental Wellbeing, Self Help, Self-care, Stress, Wellness

We cannot escape our daily stress as much as we want to eliminate the tension and pressure of life. In this month’s blog on stress awareness, I want to highlight the different aspects of stress, healthy vs unhealthy, stress types, including stress symptoms.

In everyday conversation, the word stress can conjure many different meanings to the speaker and the listener because of our subjective experiences. I might say that I’m stressed when I am under pressure at work or when other people put a strain on me.

A stressful situation for one person will inevitably be different. People are divergent and will have a different way to view or manage problems. From our lived experiences, these individuals can often draw upon their internal resources to cope with stress. However, it does not mean that you can’t learn to build your inner strength.

“Stress is a mental state; both emotional and physical arise due to tension, pressure or strain from an adverse or demanding person or situation.”

Stress is a mental state; both emotional and physical arise due to tension, pressure, or strain from an adverse or demanding person or situation. It is a drama in the psyche and manifested as a reaction, co-created into a reality. Any thoughts, conditions or circumstances can create stress in any person. I find that it is helpful first to check whether stress is healthy or unhealthy.

Healthy stress occurs in situations when your reaction is in proportion to the circumstance. For example, the day before an important job interview, you might be stressed because of additional urgent work requests from your line manager. The added pressure of the extra workload on top of nervousness for tomorrow’s interview is healthy stress when you can manage both challenges.

Unhealthy stress occurs when your reaction is out of proportion to the circumstance—sticking to the same scenario above. When stress overwhelmed the person, it becomes unhealthy. If this person becomes panicky and angry at the urgency of the request, combined with automatic negative thoughts of the must or should, and voila. The individual may make mistakes, creating unnecessary time constrain to the additional workload. The problem can quickly escalate and inundate the person’s feeling, emotions and reactions, magnifying the situation.

How we think and react can create or break the situation into a stressful or stress-free one. There are three main types of stress; acute, episodic and chronic. I shall now review the different kinds of stress in more details.

Acute stress is any situation that develops quickly but does not usually last longer than a month or so. The event is often severe due to an unexpected crisis or trauma, such as loss of a relationship, job or identity. If the symptoms persist longer, it could lead to a disorder, such as post-traumatic stress disorder. In which case, please, seek medical assistance from a qualified physician.

Episodic stress is any situation that frequently occurred, expected or unexpected. It often arises from recurring conditions that caused repeated stressful reaction. There may be a pattern to episodic stress, such as in the workplace, household, or specific person.

Chronic stress is any situation that causes prolonged emotional and psychological disturbances. In this situation, the stress may initially begin as acute stress, which became a problem over a long period of time, sometimes many years.

As you become aware of your stress level, you also need to know your stressful sources, whether internal or external. Any form of stress that lasts more than a week can become a problem if it is not processed. Processing begins internally within ourselves. We have to look within for the source of our emotional and psychological reaction to the situation. If you can start to take responsibilities for your stress and acknowledge the feelings, emotions, behaviours and reactions, you are on the road to change.

“Processing begins internally within ourselves.”

Unfortunately, we are the culprit for much of our stress as we can also put pressure on ourselves. A perfectionist may put pressure on herself to do a good job. Add a ‘must’, ‘should’ or ‘ought to’, ‘got to’ to the inner voice or belief, and you have the individual thinking, ‘I must do a good job’ or ‘I got to be good at my job’.

Sometimes knowing symptoms of any distress within yourself can be helpful, as you can check whether your reaction is in proportion or disproportion to the circumstance.

Some of the physiological symptoms of stress include:

Aches, pains and tense body or muscles.
Upset or knotted stomach, IBS, diarrhoea, constipation, sickness, nausea.
Low energy, tiredness, fatigue, sleeplessness.
Chest pain, rapid heartbeat, hotness, sweating, redness, feeling flush.
Headaches, earaches, dry mouth, clenched or grinding teeth, including a locked jaw.

Some of the emotional symptoms of stress include:

avoidance, avoiding others, avoiding confrontation.
Depression, low moods, or moodiness.
Anxiety, feeling overwhelmed, or feeling panicked.
Irritability, anger, frustration, anger and aggressive outbursts.
Loneliness, isolation, feeling like a failure, feeling useless.

Some of the cognitive symptoms of stress include:

Problem focusing, concentrating or thinking.
Poor judgement, or make an incorrect decision due to panicking.
Worrying, obsessing or compulsivity.
Constantly ruminating about the negatives.
Have doubts about one’s ability, knowledge and skills.
Unable to make a decision, unsure and uncertain about making decisions.
Thinking about old stresses and past events.

Some of the behavioural symptoms of stress include:

Nervousness, twitching, nail-biting, teeth grinding, pacing etc.
Being jumpy, shaky or freezes in reaction to situation, person or circumstance.
Prone to violence, hostility, disruptive or defiance behaviour, including sabotage.
Increase or decrease food consumption.
Increase consumption of alcohol, smoking or drug use.
Increase compulsivity for exercise, gambling, or other maladaptive behaviours.
Self-harming.

The thing to note is that you can learn to manage your stress. Everyone can learn how to cope with their emotional, physical stress. We are all capable of re-educating ourselves. Learning to discover something new out ourselves is a joy. I had found that you can make learning fun, exciting, explorative and curious. Suppose you can hold this concept when you learn about yourself in a stressful situation. In that case, you will become appreciative and compassionate about yourself and the stresses around you because you are not your stress. Here are a few pointers:

Know your triggers

Knowing your trigger will help you notice your stress pattern. Knowing this fact may be helpful to master your internal emotional reaction in a stressful situation. Knowing is an acknowledgement or awareness of what was previously elusive to you. It is about being conscious of what was unconscious about you.

One of my triggers used to be that I was highly anxious about travelling to someplace new without knowing where to park. The stress of finding a parking space was thought-provoking. I was worried about not finding a spot to park safely. I was maximising the problem by creating a traffic jam within my mind. I was anxious about being late as a result of not finding a safe spot for the car.

Know your reactions

Know your reaction will help you notice how you were in the situation. Knowing this fact may help you see, feel, or think about your response and healthy or unhealthy. Knowing that will help you sense how you are within yourself and how you responded to the situation, including those around you. Knowing this will help you decide whether or not you might need to change and try reacting differently.

In the stressful situation above, I would create a dramatised, visualised scenes. My mind could create a drama. I imagined driving around, looking for the perfect spot for the car. I would imagine an accident or road work creating a delay in my travel. I could feel myself walking in the meeting late, being hot and bothered.

Know your thoughts

Knowing what you think about will help you make sense of your inner voice. Listening to what you say and how you talk to yourself in a stressful situation will help you become in control of the situation, rather than allowing the problem to control you. We are often overly critical of ourselves. We can be the harshest critique. But, if we can be compassionate and kinder to ourselves, we can be free of the thoughts and let them go easier.

In my mind, in the above situation, I was critical. I used to say that I was a drama queen! I used to say that I was attention-seeking as I ran into class late. I used to think that I was unorganised, chaotic and unable to prioritise. I used to believe that I would be ‘told off’ if I was ever late for appointments.

Learn to speak to yourself differently

Now, try learning to speak to yourself differently. If you used to shout at yourself internally, why not try speaking softly this time. Hopefully, you will notice that the impact is dramatically reduced. You may start to notice an alternate feeling associated with the gentle inner voice. You also may hear yourself speaking using contrasting words, kinder and loving expression. The change begins with small and enlarges, like a ripple.

I noticed my inner critique, and I named her. The inner voice was familiar. I recognised her from before. She was an archetype of someone in the long distant past. Naming her helped me to notice her, and thus I became aware of how she had created the inner stress, which manifested in situations in my external world. She had been the causes of my tensions. When I noticed that, I noted that I had choices. I chose to change her tone, and I chose to look at her different until I see her in a different light.

Having an awareness of your stress can be helpful in most situation or circumstance, but it is also a great way to learn something new about yourself.

After all, learning something new about the self is especially exciting to psychological growth and spiritual development.

“Stress begins like a ripple. It starts of small but can quickly turn into somthing larger and bigger.”

Do you find this blog helpful? If you like this post, I love to hear from you on my Twitter Page.

Listen to your Heart-Mind

In Emotions, Inspiration, Mental Wellbeing, Motivation, Self Help, Self-Development, Uncategorized, Wellness

Before I started my counselling and psychological training, I considered myself logical, practical and empirical. I thought that I was intellectually compassionate, articulately skilled and communicatively empathic. While that may be true, I later realised that I was ‘mind-identified’ and I am more than my mind.

I used to live in my head, and the majority of my decisions were made from cognitive rationale and intellectualisation. In so doing, I relied on the thinking mode to process, analyse, and make sense of things. I believe that we were conditioned and measured by our intellects, especially in educational establishments such as school, college and universities etc. It is the most tangible method of measurement in modern societies, it seems. But, it goes deeper than that. We were also taught in the family system, perhaps unconsciously. Remember the time when your parents make a comparison of your achievement against your siblings?

However, that may be, I think that the cognitive mind is just one part of the physical body. I believe that our physical body is the vehicle of the spiritual body. Both parts reside unanimously and cooperative as one harmonious dualistic being. Their composites are like the Taijitu duo, the yin and yang.

As a psycho-spiritual therapist, I believe that the physical body has two ‘minds’; the cognitive-mind and the heart-mind. Therein, the brain is the cognitive-mind, and the heart is the heart-mind. It might help if you think of the brain as the all-knowing ‘supercomputer’. Memories, experiences, and programmings are stored. Thus, the heart is the ‘operator’, the user, the decision-maker. Imagine making your decisions from the heart. Henceforth, I want to discuss the concept of heart-mind further because I believe that this is the primary and the brain is secondary.

Researchers had proved that during the mitosis in the cell division process, after conception, the heart is the first organ to form in utero. As the primary organ, the heart developed a complex circuitry system using bloodstream to obtain nutrients and eliminate wastes to be transported to and from the embryo and the mother for growth. As the embryo develops further, other organs and system formed to complete the human evolutionary process, and the foetus is formed. It is not until after four weeks after conception that the neural tube is connecting the spinal cord to the brain to complete the foetus’ circuitry system. After which, the heart begins to beat. Therefore, the heart is more than a mere ‘pump’. It is from the heart that your emotions are associated.

Although the concept of the heart-mind is not something new to metaphysics, it is less well known generally. When I began my training as the Body Code practitioner, I appreciated energy works and energy from the heart.

The heart has an energy centre known as the Heart Chakra or Anahata, is located near the heart area. The heart emits energy from the body. The electromagnetic field produced by the heart is more than 60 times greater than the brain. The auric field exerts about 12 feet outwards. The heart is symbolic to love, compassion, kindness, warmth and much more.

If we can relate to people from the heart, image what that would be like. If you can find a way to relate to others with the heart, how would you feel?

Personally, for me, this means deep empathy and loving feelings. I am talking about unconditional love, pure love, without any peremptory request or demand. You might want to understand your love language before you carry on reading.

When your heart-mind emits love and compassion, in accordance with the natural order of the universal law, specifically, the law of attraction, love will return to you, as it is received by another. You will notice signs of love in another person’s eye, and you will feel the emotions.

How do you listen to your heart-mind?

Ask yourself, how do you make decisions?

If you use your mind to think about making a decision, it is safe to say that you are not as connected to your heart-mind. If you take time to ponder a decision or find it difficult to make up your mind, you are probably mind-identified. Decision-making from the heart-mind often comes from a ‘feeling’ or an intuition. The heart is our source of love, creativity and inspiration. Sometimes, decisions from the heart are illogical, baseless, spontaneous and impulsive.

Before completing my MA, I attended a workshop from sheer curiosity. By the end of the day, my mind was made up to participate in the training programme. I’d made my decision based on a feeling. I did not consider how I was going to finance the studies or whether I could afford it. My application went in, and when it got accepted, the realisation of cost, time and commitment came into play.

Ask yourself, how do you feel about x?

Place your hand on your heart and literally listens to the harmonious, rhythmic heart beating. It should beat in a gentle rhythm, the soft sounds of the tempo should be melodic and not like an offbeat syncopation. Listen to your gentle, beating heart and notice your senses. Do you feel any tingling, flood of warmth or goosebumps? These are the sensation of energy moving through your body, surging and filling you with good feelings. A loving feeling has the highest frequency, as mentioned in last month’s blog.

If you have children, you should feel a mother’s love for a child. It is the truest, selfless love. It is often boundless, and there is nothing you would not do for that child. It is non-obsessional, non-sexual, healthy and unconditional. In an ideal world, this is the loving feeling that should experience growing up.

More often than not, our experiences are less than ideal. But, this does not mean that we can’t learn to connect to that unconditional love within. We can learn to love our inner child. However, If you find it challenging to feel unconditional love, perhaps you have a ‘heart wall’. A heart wall is a blockage to the heart. It is a (metaphorical) wall that we put up to defend ourself from heartaches. If you suspect that you have a blockage to the heart and love, you might benefit from emotional code sessions.

Learn to speak from the heart

Speaking from the heart will inevitably help. It may seem awkward and strange at first, but you will become more comfortable with practice. Speaking from the heart is not about talking ‘mushy’, over-sentimental or pretentious, but preferably with genuineness and sincerely. Speaking with feeling is speaking from the heart. It is about speaking your truth.

You might find it helpful to name the emotion and how you may feel when you convey it. For example, think of the word ‘nervousness’. As you think about this emotion, consider how it might also be to feel it in the body in response to feeling nervous. You might be nervous when speaking up in a room full of people or in a large group. As think about the things that you make you ‘nervous’, also, say ‘I am nervous about…because…’. In our example, you might say, ‘I am nervous about speaking up in a large group full of people’.

Say this a few times until you can really feel the emotion and feeling nervous. In your inner body, you might hear your voice becoming shaky, trembling a little bit. In your outer body, you might start to feel the bead of sweat running down your back and becoming flush or hot.

Have fun with the experience and try using other emotion and feel different intensity which different feeling convey. When you can elicit a sentiment of your words, you’d have mastered ‘speaking’ from the heart. Well done!

Use the I/Thou language

When you speak to others, notice your language, the word you use and in what context. If you can relate to others from an adult to adult, not from an adult to a child or a parent, you are halfway to using the I/thou language. This concept simply means speaking to someone compassionately while taking responsibility for your feeling, words, and language. Here is an example of an I/though language:

I – When you shout, I find it difficult to understand you fully, and it hurts my feelings.

Thou – Although, you are shouting at me, and blaming me. I strongly object, and I do not take it personally. But I also feel angry and hurt at the way I am treated by you.

I know it is challenging in a situation when you are at the receiving end of a barrage of emotional attack. Suppose you can address the problem objectively, without taking it personally. In that case, it is the best way to get your point across.

Watch your conscious and unconscious thoughts

This is probably the most important tip. Believe it or not, but your thoughts are being heard by others. Even if you never speak it, what you think about consciously is being received ‘telepathically’ by the other person. We unconsciously broadcast the ‘unspoken’ conscious thoughts into our energetic field.

Have you ever wonder why a bully picks on someone? It is because they are attuned to receiving the negative self-abuse from others. Suppose you consciously think about being hurt by others, feeling insecure and unsafe with another. In that case, you are sending out negative broadcasts. This could also be conveyed in your body language and body posture.

Negative broadcasts are something that I am aware of. Still, I was unaware that even though I thought of myself as altruistic, I was broadcasting, ‘I am unimportant’, and ‘I am not safe’. These vibrational frequencies were stuck within the body, which I had to eliminate through energy clearing.

Now that you have an awareness that our conscious and unconscious thoughts impede speaking from the heart – watch what you think. As the messages are broadcast, like a radio tower. Your heart cannot communicate soulfully.

I hope that this blog has been helpful, and if you would like more details about energy work or energy healing, please contact me for more information.

If you would like a personal experience of an energy healing session, please visit Energy Works for more details.

“Thinking about love is not the same as having loving feeling. Thinking about love is an idealisation. But, feeling love is unconditionally so powerful that no word is necessary.” – Patch Welling.

Do you find this blog helpful? If you like this post, I love to hear from you on my Twitter Page.

Raise your emotional frequency for wellness

In Emotions, Inspiration, Mental Wellbeing, Self Help, Self-Development, Uncategorized, Wellness

In my blog last month, I discussed making emotions and feelings our friends rather than the enemy. I want to add to that further by looking at the emotional frequency and their importance.

In the 11^th century, a Benedictine monk called Guido d’Arezzo pioneered frequency scales from specific tones of musical sound which became known as the Solfeggio frequencies. The frequencies have been used throughout history, both in Western Christianity and Eastern religions by Buddhist monks and Indian Sanskrit in prayer and chants.

Research has proved that the OM Mantra, for example, was made up of frequencies that induce gamma waves which support mental wellness. In this peaceful waking state, we are receptive to cognitive processing, problem-solving and heightened perception.

Growing up with traditional Buddhist practices, I often thought that attending the temple for prayer was tedious. However, as I sat through the Thai Buddhist monks chanting, I instantly felt mentally relaxed, peaceful and calmed. The melodic sounds of the chant were mesmerising.

The sound frequency has a powerful effect on our emotional body. Thus, the emotional frequency will inevitably have an influence on the body-mind.

The body, feelings and mind are connected to the soul (or spirit) as wholeness.

I found that when feeling overwhelmed, I am unable to think logically or clearly. My body will react in response to the mental shut down. Physiologically, my heart would beat furiously, quickening the breath. My muscles tighten, and the body becomes hot and flush. Emotionally, I feel panicky, stressed, anxious and possibly fearful and embarrassed by the reaction of the body. This was when I realised that the emotions have gotten ‘hold’ on me. In this state, it feels like I a drowning. The body-feelings-mind interact in a wholistic system governed by the laws of cause and effect.

I’m here to share that, in whatever state, mood, or disposition that you find yourself in, you do have a choice. Amongst feeling overwhelmed, there will be a quiet, soothing ‘inner voice’ that asks whether you want any help. Some may say that this inner voice is your intuition. I know this part of myself as my ‘soul’ or ‘spirit’.

Recently, while working with a highly emotional client, I learnt to accept that some people DO not want help, even though a part of them got them to my therapy room. The client is simply not ready, willing or able to give up on their subconscious gain. This is fine by me, as I realised that I am not a rescuer. As a therapist, I am a facilitator. I facilitate healing, wellness and holistic processes.

With that in mind, I learnt to let go and just trust. Trust that I will simply know.

What is emotional frequency?

An emotion is a ball of energy, varying in size and shapes. Energy moves around the body as vibrational frequency. It forms and transforms, it changes, interchange and impermanent. It flows around your body around your morphic field, also known as the aura. Depending on the situation, circumstance or experience that you are facing, the emotional energy may circulate around an organ or meridians. If the emotions are suppressed, repressed or disrupted from expressing, it will become lodged within a specific area in the body.

Emotional frequency or emotional resonance is the vibrational frequency that emotion generates, which I came to know as energy frequency. Each emotion has an energy which generates and measurable as a frequency in Hz (hertz), used in connection to energetic currents, electromagnetic waves (light, radar etc.) and sound.

Love, for example, has a high frequency around 500Hz, whereas, fear has a low frequency at 100Hz. When you feel love for yourself or others, you cannot and will not feel the fear. Thus, it is worth choosing a positive feeling or emotion, which is better for health and wellness.

How to raise your emotional frequency?

I recently became qualified as an Emotion Code Practitioner and found that emotions can be released quickly and effortlessly.

Here are ways to raise your emotional frequency.

Be open-minded

Being open-minded is a willingness to consider new ideas or concepts without prejudices. An open-minded person will have the ability to considered other perspective, can be empathetic, to others, even if you disagree. In this state, you are flexible in your approach to learning and accepting new options, opportunities, suggestions, and inspirations. With an open mind, you will see things start to manifest, as you become receptive, you will attract like for like.

Stay hydrated

Have you noticed when you are very upset, your mouth dries up? To raise your emotional vibration, you need to remain hydrated so that your body as flush out toxicity.

Feel the love

Love has high frequencies which are beneficial to instantly lift your moods and emotional frequencies. When you feel love and appreciation, negative or low frequencies cannot exist at the same moment. If you find it difficult to ‘feel love’ trying doing something that you truly love. A loving feeling is a feeling of immense happiness, joy, connection, fulfilment, fondness, warmth, and tenderness. It is a blissful feeling towards someone or something. A true loving feeling is unconditional and unbounded. For me personally, I love water, nature and the sounds of a Wren singing in the distant, as I bathed in the warm sunny sky. You get the picture.

“Love is all there is. Let love be the driving force in your life.” – Unknown.

Feel the gratitude

Gratitude has high frequencies also, which can instantly transcend your emotions. It can instantly lift your low moods to a good mood. But, you have to really believe and be grateful. There has to be an element of humbleness within this process in order to feel thankful for something. For example, showing appreciation for your good health, being appreciative of your partner, be thankful to your family and friends by simply saying it out loud. I feel grateful for my good health. I feel grateful to my partner for his love and support. I feel grateful for my family. If you find it hard to say that you are grateful to the person, say it in your mind – they will receive the feeling all the same. Make a list of the things that make you grateful.

Find your Mantra and Affirmation

You can build a mantra, an affirmation or prayer into your daily life that includes feeling love for yourself and others. A mantra can be something that you repeat during meditations, walking, exercising or when doing a mundane task. An affirmation is a statement that you keep repeating until it becomes second nature. A prayer can be anything that you say with closed eyes to God, The Higher Power, Holy Spirit or the Universe.

Example of a mantra might be: Letting go is easy, Emotions are friends, Emotions are energy, and like all energy – it too will pass.

Example of an affirmation might be: I express my emotions healthily and freely, I am free to express how I feel, I am responsible for the way I feel.

Example of prayer might be: Dear God/The Higher Power/Holy Spirit/Universe, please give me the strength to be with my emotions, to process my emotions healthily, to heal.

Have fun, smile and laugh

Laughing is potent and instantly uplifting. It has many health benefits, physically and emotionally. Most essentially, it is contagious, so be warned.

Some of the things that make me smile include looking at pictures of my loving children, looking at a picture of myself as a toddler and listening to soothing music. Having fun for me simply mean doing fun stuff such as making a dress, getting my hands dirty working with clay pottery or playing charades. The thing that made me laugh is a slap-stick comedy, but not something like ‘Jackass’ or ‘YBF’ where someone or something is being hurt or falling. Find your laughter. Find your smile and find what is fun for you.

I have not included the usual practical approaches such as meditation, exercises, eating healthily to the list above on purpose because they are all common practices that everyone should regularly adhere to for positive mental health and wellness.

If you would like a personal experience of an energy healing session, please visit Energy Works for more details.

“Love is the only force capable of transforming enermy into friend.” – Martin Luther King Jr.

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Emotions are friend, not foe

In Coping Strategies, Coping Strategy, Emotions, Inspiration, Self Help, Self-Development, Wellness

According to the American Psychological Association, emotion referred to an intricate state of experiential, behavioural, psychological and physiological patterns responding to thoughts and stimulus. Emotions are subjective and profoundly influential to an individual. Depending on our biological makeup, emotions are biologically associated with the central nervous systems brought on by neurophysiological triggers from our cognition, learning style and conditioning orientation.

Unlike ‘feeling’, emotion can affect our moods and our body. This does not mean that having feeling for something or about something is any less significant. It is just that feeling refers to a self-perception of a specific emotion. Thus, you can have a feeling about emotion, and you can also have feelings about the way you feel; therefore, it originates in the mental construct. Whereas, emotions, on the other hand, is experiential, behavioural, psychological and physiological in nature. However, for the purpose of this blog, I will use emotion and feeling interchangeable.

The emotional intensity of an experience or event depends on your intrapsychic tendencies. You may have a proclivity of melancholy or cheerfulness. If your childhood environment were happy and nurturing, you will be more likely to have a cheerful disposition. But, if your childhood environment were hostile, less than ideal and traumatic, you will be more likely to be melancholy. However, this does not mean that you cannot change, break free from the cycle or that you should accept the past as something that will also happen in the future. Whatever the future will depend on your present. You can choose how to be, how to feel, and you can choose your emotions.

With volition, you can decide healthier, helpful and happier emotions. However, this does not mean that you simply dismiss, disregard or repressed the difficult emotions though. It is simply about being aware of emotions; recognise it, name it, feel it and express it. If you feel like crying, don’t let anyone tell you not to cry. If you feel anger, don’t let anyone tell you not to be angry. Feel the fear and move on. Keep calm and carry on. And make friend with your emotion, not foe.

How do you go about choosing healthier, helpful and happier emotions, you say?

Recognising that you will have an emotion

To recognise an emotion, you simply need to acknowledge it. Realise its validity, its existence and legitimacy to manifest. When you notice that you will have an emotion about a situation or that you are about to have an emotional experience, see what is going on around you, observe the situation, listen to what is happening within and outside of the body.

Name your emotion

It often helps to name our emotions. This is because emotion has an energetic frequency. Love, for example, has the highest frequency at 528 Hz, whereas the frequency for fear is around 100 Hz.

It is worth naming your emotions to bring awareness to the frequency thoughtforms. Naming the emotion gives legitimacy to the experiences that you are going through, especially if the intensity of the emotion is high. Being conscious of your emotions also means that you can then choose how you want to feel. Then you can check whether your physiological, biological, psychological and behaviour are in equal measure to the trigger or whether it is too excessive or too extreme for the situation. Thus, you will realise your response in connection to the feeling felt.

Expressing your emotion

Since our emotions are our cue to what is going within ourselves. It makes sense to process them accordingly. A way to process emotion is to allow it to be expressed. That means you will need to allow yourself to feel the emotion. If you have not heard of the phase – check out these books, Feel the fear and do it anyway, Smile at Fear. It is once you realised your emotion that you can then express them healthily. Suppressing our emotions and feelings would be liking holding a buoy underwater. It will eventually surface, maybe tomorrow, the day after or the next time you are faced with a similar situation that triggers the same emotion. The problem then is that the emotional intensity has grown, doubled in size, which may lead to exaggerated behaviour or reaction. In simple term, let your emotion be, honour yourself and be brave by being with your emotions. They are simply a part of you that needs releasing, loving and let it be. If you can clear to love your emotion, you are on your way to loving yourself.

“I dont want to be at the mercy of my emotions. I want to use them, enjoy them, feel them and do not let them dominate me.” – Oscar Wilde.

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