Tag: Coping Strategies

Who can you trust – if not yourself

In Coping Strategy, Mental Wellbeing, Self Help, Trust, Wellness

Trust reliably builds self-confidence, self-esteem physically and emotionally-how well do you trust yourself?

Trust is a process that builds relationships, whether that is with oneself, with others or with the world. It is the ability and willingness to risk being vulnerable. It is the proposition that depends on equality and respect. It is undeniably rewarding, altruistically and self-serving.

There are three distinct types of trust; Physically, Psychologically and Emotionally.

Physical trust is having the presence of another who were reliably present. Physically being there for you during your time of needs. This person will catch you when you fall, literally.

Psychological trust is a deep mental construct build in early childhood. Depending on your experiences in the early environment, this process may be arrested or undeveloped. Thus, you grow up to become a distrustful person, distrusting yourself and your abilities, distrusting others and their competencies and distrusting the world and its hostility.

Emotional trust is having confidence in yourself and another. It is the feeling that builds a bond in relationships. It is you decide that you can be emotionally available and trust in the other person to hold your vulnerability in their hand, without judgement, without intervention without restriction.

How well do you trust depends upon many factors. It is something that you learn, nurture and develop. It forms a set of behaviours and personality traits. It is also a belief with you hold as values and it determined your interaction with an individual. It is a sense of security within the relationship or process. It is dynamic and engaging. It is both benevolence and integral to all relationship within oneself, with others and with the world. If you have trust in yourself, in another and in the world, predictably, there will be cognizant.

“Trust takes years to build, seconds to break, and forever to repair.” – Unknown.

If not, fear not, you can learn to nurture and develop trust within yourself, with others and with the world. You would have to begin trusting yourself first. Here are some helpful tips to get started;

- Honesty. You will need to be honest and reliable with your needs and desires. If you promised yourself a break from a hard day’s work, you would need to carry out the promise that you’ve made. Small acts of successes will result in optimism toward self-trust.

“Trust starts wtih the truth and ends with the truth.” – Santosh Kalwar

Reframing self-belief. You need to have the self-belief that you will do something for yourself. If you plan to take a new hobby, you need to follow through.
Discredits insecurities and mistrust. You will need to address and disregard any insecurities and mistrust within yourself first. As you work through your own insecurities and mistrust, you will find that you naturally will expand your perceptions to opening up to trusting others and the world.
Address psychological and emotional impact on trust. You need to address the psychological and emotional disposition to trust or mistrust. Do you trust being yourself, even if you made mistakes saying the wrong thing or doing the wrong thing? Do you allow yourself to be vulnerable? Do you believe that you can achieve anything you set your mind to? If you get jealous of your partner talking to someone else, you need to address the emotional and psychological impact of your feelings.
Openness. You need to be opened to failures without criticism and negative self-talk. A trusting relationship is an openness towards ourselves and each other. Are you an open or close book?
Be patient. Trust takes time to mature and grow. It is through time that you will feel the benefits of trust within yourself, with others and the world.

“Trust takes years to build, seconds to break, and forever to repair.” – Unknown.

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Motivation is Key

In Coping Strategies, Inspiration, Mental Wellbeing, Motivation, Self Help, Self-Development, Wellness

Motivation is the key to many reasons for our action and behaviour—here’s why.

Motivation is a drive that guides, influences, initiates, and stimulates our action and behaviour. It is the cause of the effect. It is a force that inspires you to action, whether this is to get out of bed in the morning, exercise or taking up a new hobby.

When you are motivated; the emotions are engaged, allowing the mind to become creative, thus allowing social connections to activated behaviours.

You may lack motivation for any number of reasons, whether it is due to depression, worries, avoidance or simply lack of interests. The reasons you lack motivation is mostly unconscious. The current mental strategies learned in the past have outgrown their resourcefulness. They become ineffective and you just need news ones.

Here are some new ideas and the keys to motivations. Give them a try, and see what works for you.

1. A good enough reasoning.

You need your own good enough reasons to get motivated. What is your good enough reason to get out of bed in the morning? You could stay in bed all day, for sure? But, then, you will be more tired, lethargic and hours of excuses later, you’re still in bed! Feeling lazy and cannot be bothered to get up or get dressed.

Thinking yourself contented is an illusion of the mind keeping you stuck. Motivation is a good enough reason to act or behave in a particular way in order to accomplish something desirable. It is an energetic force that encourages and promotes movement and reaction to planning, implementing and doing. The narrative that drives motivation is mostly positive.

Any reason to get out of bed is a good enough reason. Perhaps you need to get to the bathroom. Perhaps you need a glass of water. Whatever the reason, it is done, you’re out of bed, aren’t you? It is not worth going back there, you will not be able to sleep for a while now that you awaken.

2. Soothing sounds of the opposite.

Whatever your excuses that you used to tell yourself not to get out of bed in the morning, do the opposite. Whatever justification that you have given to yourself for delaying or avoiding taking up exercise, do the opposite. However, you conclude the rationale behind your lack, it is essential that you speak to yourself, kindly. Whispers the benefits of taking up exercise. Incite excitement in visualising trim waistline. Encourage yourself to go out walking, running etc.

Kindness is one the recipe for motivation. It is a beneficial interest that you are kind to yourself rather than dictating yourself to do something. When you speak, lovingly, to yourself, it is the soothing melody to sweet co-operation.

3. Rebelling against helplessness.

Feeling overwhelmed by helplessness dampened motivation. Helplessness is a struggle when we feel a loss of control. The loss of control is a result of an internal struggle. Rebelling against feeling helpless is the natural proclivity to eliminate the psychological attachment.

Acknowledging your helplessness, without accepting the hopelessness of the situation is the conscious approach to breaking free from this mindset. You may be helpless about your expanding waistline, but, you are not hopeless in changing and doing something about it. Believing that you are not helpless is motivating. Then, you will be able to see solutions, plan, and act on a desirable, and achievable outcome.

4. Rethink the mundane.

Exercise may seem mundane through repetition, just as doing cleaning or chores. Nonetheless, these mundane tasks need to be addressed in the psyche. What you think influences your participation and action. If you think that the mundane is boring, then it is. But, if you rethink the mundane to be fun and enjoyable, then it is. Easy.

Reframing your thoughts and thinking patterns helps you to become motivated. Thinking of the desired goal in mind is the best way to approach the mundane. Thinking about fitting into the smaller sized clothes. Thinking about feeling great from the induced endorphins. Think about a clean and neat home rather than the action of cleaning. Think about a full fridge rather than trolling through the supermarket. Think about feeling refreshed and invigorated from the shower rather than the getting up and out of bed. Rethink your thoughts, and think only of things that motivate you.

5. Lack of motivation by attachment.

Many of us can deny that we have problem attachment. If you keep telling yourself something long enough, you will come to believe it. Don’t believe me, keep denying yourself that. What have you got to lose, but time, confidence, self-esteem and your volition?

Problem attachment is an unhealthy emotional dependency on something or someone. It is an unhelpful clinging on that is negatively pleasurable. The unresourcefulness of hoarding is an attempt to fulfil a feeling of lack, emptiness and loneliness. All of which discouraged motivation through numbing. As our feeling is numbed, you become discouraged and lose sight of a purpose and will power. As you are overwhelmed by difficult emotions, you become increasingly dissatisfied and suddenly you find yourself on a hamster wheel, going round and round in a circle becoming dizzy.

Let go of the hoarding. Let go of the negative emotional attachment to the object, thing or belief. Let it go completely and get rid of it if you can. Get rid of the belief by challenging it. Holding onto excessive body-weight, for example, might be an unconscious attempt to protect you from emotional pains such as grief, loss or abuse by shielding you with your body-fat. Address your emotional pain and then let go of the belief. Challenge your belief with questions like, is it absolutely true, is there a law that says your body-fact protects you from emotional pain?

How are you going to motivate yourself? What did you find useful or helpful? Perhaps these tips gave you the inspiration to come up with your own resourceful ways to motivate yourself. I love to hear from you on my Twitter Page.

“Act as if what you do, or the way you behave makes a difference – because it does.”
– William james