Category: Motivation

Mindfulness Motivation for Confidence

Mindfulness is a conscious awareness of doing something, being in the moment with your internal states, including your thoughts, feelings, emotions, bodily sensations, and outer environment. In this post, I wanted to discuss how this technique can be applied to motivate activities that can help improve your confidence.

Mindfulness is ubiquitous in mental health and wellness. Over the past twenty years, I have noticed that this concept recently on the rise is welcoming. Many mind-identified individuals embrace it. But, it can be so much more if we find a creative way to use this principle.

“Mindfulness versus Mindlessness – which would you rather be?”

Mindfulness concerns the mental activity and mental state with thoughtfulness rather than mindlessness. It is an internal and external observation of one’s state without judgment, attention or focus. It is about noticing whatever it is in the moment and letting it go.

The purpose of mindfulness is to stay neutral to your experiences with the intention of staying with yourself. The idea is to be alert with a focused relaxation. Thoughts and abreactions in the body will arise. You may notice them and observe them without judgement. They will find that they will soon dissipate and disappear.

Mindfulness helps to improve the processing in the psyche. It helps balance any chemical imbalances in the brain and realign cognitive distortion. It helps bring awareness to thoughts and thinking patterns. It makes conscious your proclivity to analyse, criticise or ruminate in the mind. When you are wide awake to the way you think, and what you tend to think about, you will have the capacity to notice your thinking tendencies, which will, in turn, improve self-awareness and self-consciousness in the realisation. The realisation comes with a sense of achievement and wonders, followed by positive mental and physical feelings.

 In the state of mindfulness, your mental and physical state changes any chemical imbalances in the brain. It makes it rewarding and satisfying. This helps you see your inner resilience and inner strength as you successfully become mindful. You could instantly feel an improvement in your entire being. Eventually, you can feel confident in your achievement of being mindful. Before you know it, you are already motivated to keep practising mindfulness.

Mentally, you will soon notice an improvement in your problem-solving ability and reasoning skills. Improving the mind will help reduce psychic tension, such as anxieties, depression, conflicts and afflictions.

Physically, you will soon notice an improvement in your physiological responses to situations, such as lowering heart rate, lowering blood pressure, and improved sleep. The body will benefit from conditions such as gastrointestinal discomfort, chronic pain, illnesses and dis-ease.

Emotionally, you will soon notice a shift in your feelings and emotions. If you were previously pessimistic, a “glass half empty person”, you might notice that you are becoming optimistic, a “glass half full person” now. You might now recognise how you feel about a distressful situation and find a way to resolve it with ease. As you feel comfortable, you will begin to notice your confidence and esteem rising.

“Mindfulness versus Mindlessness? I know which one I would choose.”

There are many creative ways to incorporate mindfulness into our daily lives. You probably already know how to include mindfulness into your daily ritual. I hope you can feel the difference in this way of being when you make mindfulness a part of your life. And that this positive feeling acts as a motivation for you to keep using the technique. Mindfulness is often used with meditation, relaxation, visualisation, hypnotherapy, and more. However, there are different ways you can apply mindfulness to deepen your self-development.

 Mindful meditation requires you to sit in a meditative lotus posture, preferrable where you can be close to the ground for grounding and support. The combination of mindfulness and meditation is a marriage made in heaven. It is the most effective approach to a mindful state. You might want to explore using mantra words or statements to repeat silently during the meditation.

Mantra words or statements for motivation might be; you are a master of your mind and body, you are confident, you can achieve greatness, you can achieve relaxation easily. Perhaps you can think of your own mantra.

Affirmations for motivation in your meditation might include statements such as, I am confident, I am calm, I am relaxed in stressful situations, I am motivated, I am committed to self-care and self-love. Perhaps you can think of more affirmations that suit you better.

Body awareness mindfulness acknowledges the body’s physical state. You might notice the body sensation or discomfort in the meditative state, such as coughing, itching, tingling, and warmth. Whatever the sensation, observe it without judgement or critique. The purpose of this approach is to scan the body so that you can develop an awareness of your body. This is especially effective if you are disidentified or dissociated from the body.

Sensory awareness meditation acknowledges sensations such as tastes, smells, sounds and touches on the skin or body. The purpose of this approach is to observe your senses, including your sixth sense. You can become attuned to your senses through this practice. It helps to develop an awareness of your senses. Everyone has a strong preference for their sensory modality. You might be essentially a visual person. However, to be more self-aware, you need to be aware of all your senses.

 Emotional awareness meditation concerns your feelings emotions. This approach of mindfulness meditation considers being with your feelings and emotions. However, you might already know that it is difficult to practice mindfulness meditation when an emotion grips you. But, this is the best time to use this technique. In a meditative and relaxed state, you can observe your feelings, name them, locate it in the body and bear with them much easier than in the heightened state. In a heightened state, you are reactive to the experience in the situation. In a relaxed state, you are non-reactive but responsive and aware of the emotions. If helpful, you can go into the meditation and recall an event where strong emotions arise. Practice being with your feelings and emotions. Observe them without judging or giving them narratives or meanings. Accepting them as being a part of you and having compassion for the way they had influenced your responses.

Behavioural awareness meditation involves being in a meditative state with the intention of observing your behaviour in situations. The aim here is to recognise your behaviours, behave, and react in a situation. You might not like a specific behaviour such as excessive alcohol, drug use, gambling, or eating. This approach works well with unwanted behaviours; such as compulsivity, impulsivity, habitual, addiction, as well as maladaptive or destructive behaviours such as self-harming acts. This mindful technique needs a lot of will or volition. A word of warning, a strong sense of self and ego strength is required to try this method.

Basic mindfulness requires you to sit someplace quiet and be physically still. The purpose of this technique is about being with yourself in your inner world. It is essential to be silent, without external sounds (music, TV, radio etc.). You might not be able to avoid the outside sounds. You might experience abreaction such as a cough, an ache, a cramp and others. Bear with it if you want to experience the positivity of a mindful effect.

Simple mindfulness can be applied to other aspects of your life, such as walking or light exercises like yoga. I use mindfulness regularly for all sorts of reasons. I use mindfulness when I am drawing or painting and running or swimming. I am sure you can also think of your own way to incorporate mindfulness with activities in your life—any activities except driving or anything involving risk to your health and wellness.

To summarise, mindfulness breathing is fantastic for personal development and general wellbeing. It is something that can be done effortlessly. After all, you are breathing right now as you are reading this!

If you are struggling and need support, maybe you will give me a call?

Make your Blue Monday Resolution for a Change

It is widely known that the third Monday in January has been dubbed the ‘Blue Monday’. The reason for this was possibly due to having over-indulged ourselves from Christmas and New Year’s, after which, we are then in a period of some remorse, regrets or guilt about our intemperance and indulgence. Thus, that is why the majority have a New Year resolution.

Every New Year brings a sense of renewal which elicit change. I want to share some of my New Year’s resolutions to give you some ideas for yours.

 

  • Start an exercise regime that you love. If you decide to take up exercise for New Year resolution, make sure it is for the right reason and that you are passionate about it. If you take up exercise to lose weight, for example, your resolution will be short-lived because it is a chore. If you start exercise such as Yoga, Tai Chi, or Pilates because you are passionate about your flexibility, wellness and healthy body balance then your goal will be long-lived. If you love the exercise that you started, your resolution will be long-lived.

“I reconnected to kickboxing which was a part of my Muay Thai roots, and I’m so happy that I’m still doing it a year later!”

  • Practice mindful acts. When you apply mindfulness to your behaviours, feelings, thoughts and actions, you will become more self-aware. Mindfulness is about making conscious of what you’re doing, thinking and feeling. It is about recognising and making your autonomous processes conscious. In the awareness, you will come to know yourself more intimately, which is a beautiful feeling.
  • Have a compassionate mind. To have compassion and concern for your mind, you need to be mindful of your thoughts. As you are mindful of your thinking style, pattern and cognition, you will have concern and compassion for the way you think. We all have a different way to process things around us. To know how you think, you need to observe what think and see the pattern of the thoughts.

 For example, when someone asked me to do something, I had previously thought it was a form of command because my experiences with authority have been negative.

Having a compassionate mind means having the ability to observe when the thought arises, and notice whether it was based on past experiences or the present situation. Then, you can notice your reaction and have compassion for the part that fear authority or authoritative figure.

  • Be grateful every day. If your New Year’s resolution is to be grateful. You will need to be appreciative of yourself and have compassion for mistakes that you make in the process of re-learning a new behaviour. Being grateful is having a deep sense of gratitude and thankfulness for something or someone, that include yourself too. Expressing gratefulness to yourself is a part of Self-care and Self-love. An expression of gratefulness to yourself might include feeling a heart-warming, deep sense of gratitude and love. It is a thankful experience of kindness that comes with warmth, and unconditional acceptance. Gratefulness is a constant state of being, it is achievable through having a compassionate mind.

“An example of being grateful, for me, include feeling appreciative of my abilities and limitations..”

  • Be thankful every day. Make being thankful every day a part of your New Year’s resolution. Even if it is difficult, being thankful gives us a positive feeling. Being thankful is an act of gratification for oneself and others. It is a relief of an appreciation expressed verbally, non-verbally or behaviourally. Being thankful for me include being appreciative of the universe for its guidance and protection.

“I am thankful to the universe for providing me with all my basic needs and psychological needs for growth, for Self-fulfilment and satisfaction.”

  • Make time to be with yourself in your inner world for peace of mind. It is a great place to be. Your inner world should be your sacred sanctuary. Being in your mind does not have to be unpleasant or stressful. Being in your inner world through meditation will help you connect with all aspects of your beingness. If you struggle to be within your inner world, this New Year’s resolution is ideal for you.

 In order to be connected to your inner world and find your inner sacred sanctuary, you got to want to know more about yourself.

You will need to be interested and curious about finding a way to have inner peace.

But, most importantly, you got to face the fears, chaos and shadows in the dark recesses of the mind to see the radiant light beyond it.

  •  Be positive and optimistic. Having positivity and optimism is achievable for everyone. It is about being conscious of your thoughts and reframing the negativity with positive statements. If you are automatically negative in your thinking style, you will need to be mindful and consciously changes your thoughts immediately. Our thoughts and behaviours are habitual through conditioning and experiences relating to others. When you catch your negative thoughts, challenge them and counteract them immediately with positive thoughts.

“I regularly catch my negative criticism when I trip up on something.”

Then, I would remind myself that I am fallible and will make mistakes. I can learn from this. I would reassure myself o my abilities to learn and grow. I would encourage myself not to be fearful of the experience or event because next time, I would and can do things differently. I would praise myself for the kind words and then the feeling of love and appreciation comes with the positive inner dialogues.

  • Be kind and loving. To be kind and loving to another, you must first have kindness and love for yourself. If you find yourself being kind to everyone, without having loving feelings for yourself, you will become a victim of the persecutors or the predators.

 These acts of loving-kindness to others are false and unobtainable. It implies that you are kind and loving for sure, but you act and behave kindly and lovingly to others for the reciprocal acts. You cannot make anyone love you. But, we all do and try, and mostly in vain. This is because we have not learned to be kind and love ourselves first. It can take a long time to have Self-love, but we can begin with having kindness for ourselves.

“I say kind words to myself when I want to create positive feelings. I remind myself that I am loved, by my-Self. 

Acts of kindness for myself include looking after my physical and mental states, ensuring that I am nourished and replenished, ensuring that I have fun and play. I make time for joy and happiness. I appreciate the beauty around me, where ever I am.

  • Learn something new about yourself every day. If you are on a soul searching or Self-discovery journey, this New Year’s resolution might be relevant to you. You will never stop learning until the day you die. We all learn new things every day of our existence.

 Learning something new about yourself should be something that you like and find interesting. If you don’t like what you’re learning about yourself, then, you are not yet ready for this wondrous journey because you will learn some things that you might not like.

Self-discovery is about finding out and learning everything about yourself. The more you know about yourself, the more Self-aware you will become. Today, I learned that I love my jobs, I like the varieties in my dual roles. They are opposing roles but has their own rewards. I am neither/or but both/and. For tomorrow, I am certain that I will learn something else new.

  • Do some thing differently. This New Year’s resolution was a real challenge for me. This is about doing something different in the mundane of life, but it does not have to be a chore or a grind. Generally, we, humans are a creature of habit. Who does not like to have a routine, a schedule or plan or a diary filled with events?  To do something differently is about stepping out of our comfort zone, stepping into the unfamiliar. This resolution focuses on changing and change of unhelpful habit patterns. Your habit patterns are not a problem until they are no longer helpful or useful. Our habits serve a purpose to our autonomous processes.  If they are still helpful, then there is no issue.

 However, if you want growth and development, you do need to be flexible in your approach and processes. Being flexible and adaptable is a positive approach to dealing with the daily challenges of existence.

If you are rigid and inflexible to change, you can become easily stressed, quick to anger or easily anxious about something or someone. Doing things differently does not have to be something big to start off with. I started with small changes such as taking stairs instead of lifts or starting to eat more vegetables and eventually to bigger changes such as changing the way I think or judge others in passing.

  •  Make time to do nothing. This was my favourite New Year’s resolution. I had a real challenge with doing nothing. I am an active person, and I am mostly fidgety which is a habit of restless legs syndrome.

“As a child, doing nothing equates to laziness. I was discouraged from sitting still or being relaxed.”

I was often criticised for not doing something. Doing nothing was unfamiliar to me, especially in the state of relaxation. I noticed that I wanted to do something to help me relax. This mindset took some time to break down because of years of unhelpful conditioning.

I don’t yet know what this year’s New Year’s resolution will be for me, but I know that it will be something that I look forward to challenging myself. I see these resolutions as a goal to attain in the year, but it should also be something that you regularly keep in place year on year.

Have fun creating your New Year’s resolution!

How to maintain a healthy work-life balance

Maintaining a healthy work-life balance can help reduce stress, give us a sense of stability, steadiness and improved wellness. Having a balance of everything is essential for equilibrium, like the Yin and Yang. When our attention and focus is drawn to one thing over then another, it creates inequality and imbalances in our lives. Here’s how to maintain a healthy equilibrium, especially as many of us are moving toward working from home as our new norm.

  • Prioritise your time – set your working time and be disciplined to adhere to the working hours. If you have a 9-5 worker, be sure to stick to your schedule. Once, outside this time, you have to ensure that you do not go back to deal with any work issues. Outside your work time, be sure to have fun doing anything that brings you joy and laughter.

  • Notice where your attention goes, your energy follows – check your inner world. You might not be working outside your working hours, but you might find it difficult to ‘shut off’. If your attention is still in work, then you will energetically have an emotional response to this.
  • Setting your boundaries – create a separateness between your workspace and the home life. If you don’t have a home office, you might be working on the dining table. When you finish your workday, pack away your office equipment and have clear and separate boundaries between the two activities. You need to have personal and relaxing time outside the work hours.

  • Have some flexibility with your time boundary – even though you set yourself a working timetable, maintain a flexible approach to your working pattern. Try not to be too hard on yourself if you have to respond to some urgent personal issues. If you need to work later one day, don’t beat yourself up.
  • Be mindful of your schedule – the mindfulness act helps bring awareness to consciousness. It gives us a realisation of our habitual behaviour patterns.
  • Keep a healthy mental perception – positive thinking helps improve our wellbeing. A healthy mental perception might include a positive outlook, helpful inner dialogue and having self-compassion when your workload tipped unfavourably.

  • Find your rhythm – find your balance and explore what works and what doesn’t. You might decide to attend an exercise class one day during the week, but it means finishing half an hour earlier that day. Find another day that you can sacrifice working half an hour later. Keep the momentum going. When you find that happy balance, keep going and do more of it.
  • Take regular breaks, take some time off – be sure to take regular breaks and lunch in your working day. We forget to take time out during the working hours when we’re at home. We may become self-conscious of our productivity. We may be fearful when working from home. Don’t feel guilty about breaks or rest. Don’t feel bad if you need to pop down to the shop to get lunch. Do take some time off even though you work from home. You do need the time away from the pressure of work.

“The secret to wellness is having a healthy balance in your life.”

 

Make kindness a part of your daily ritual

November, 13th is World Kindness day. It is the one day of the year where individuals or groups consciously decide to go out of their way to be kind to another or perform acts of kindness. It might be an act of kindness at home, work, school or any public place. The show of pledges involves doing at least one selfless good deed to another person(s).

“A World without kindness is a world without love.”

Word Kindness day is an excellent start to becoming a part of our community. However, I’d say why stop there? Why not make kindness a part of your daily ritual?

 The acts of kindness benefit us all, and it makes the world a better place to live in. When we perform an act of kindness for another, we should not expect anything in return. I am referring to doing kind acts for someone without expecting reciprocal service or returning a favour. The truest act of kindness comes without any conditions. It is simply an act of kindness that benefits another person without any underlying need for payback.

However, the psychological consequence of an act of kindness does have an unwitting benefit to the individual carrying out the kindness. It can help boost our moods, increase feelings of confidence, increase the level of satisfaction or happiness in being a part of something or the world, and helping, generally, bring us joy. Moreover, the Law of Attraction governs that positive acts of service bring the same positive result back into our lives. Additionally, your good deeds may also encourage the individual to pay it forward and carry out the kindness act to another person and so forth.

There is also the science behind the act of kindness. Willing acts of kindness produces oxytocin which is the chemical that lowers our blood pressure, reduces anxieties, reduces our levels of stress and increases our moods and happiness, which benefits our mental health. But, it is so much more. Being kind and doing kind acts for another person help remind us that we are more than ourselves and that we are part of the community and the world. It gives a sense of belonging and being a valued contributor to the community and the world. Thus, it is an attribute to our inner purpose, meaning and values.

With all these positive reasons, what’s stopping you from starting your kindness acts today? But, if you want some ideas, here are some helpful kindness acts to help you get started.

Start with the little thing

The little things matter a lot. The little thing includes giving way, allowing another to pass on pavements or on the road, letting someone in front of you in a queue, offer your seats to strangers, etc. Lend a hand, help someone with a heavy shopping bag, offer to do something for someone random. Give someone your time, attention and focus. Pray for another, send them positive intentions, love and light.

Acts of kindness

 Behaving and acting kindly come in many varieties. Behaving kindly includes giving way to someone coming the opposite way on a path, giving up your seat on trains or buses, offering someone you know a lift home. Showing helpfulness in teamwork, adapting a helpful mental attitude to a work colleague, illustrating helpful aptitude in community work are also helpful behavioural traits.

Act of kindness includes purposeful and conscious actions. You would go out of your way to be kind to another. You might stop to help someone cross the road. You might travel to help a friend in need. You might reach out to a work colleague going through a difficult time etc.

Positive Intentions in action

Kindness comes with positive intentions. Positive intention is a planned intent that has a positive introspection. It is a conscious mental construct to be or do something kind to another. The most explicit intention of kindness is to help or be helpful to another. If you are kind to someone without having a positive intention, you might be prone to resentment, jealousy or envy. Check your intention. Are you acting kind because you genuinely want to help or because you felt that you had to, got to, must or should?

Be creative in helping and acting kind

 Helping and kindness come with rewards and self-improving moods. We can be creative in being kind without the other person knowing it. A kind act includes doing charity works or donations. In this way, we are acting kind, and we are not directly known. A kind act also includes cleaning up and clearing hazards. Picking a nail and keeping other road users safe is a kind act. Joining your local Wombles is an act of kindness in keeping your community clear and clean. Help elderly neighbours by doing their shopping, dropping off their groceries, or cooking them a meal. Help fellow mums at school and take their children to/from school, or offer to babysit. Offer your time and services in doing charity works is a kind act. Perhaps you can think of other creative ways to be kind.

Spread the love and kindness

 Acts of kindness include sending kind messages to a significant person or someone needing love and appreciation. This person might be a work colleague, a friend or a family member. Writing them handwritten note shows that the kind words and considerations had been carefully thought about with affection. Call a friend or family and tell them that you care and have no other agenda than to say that. Spreading love is a kindness of the heart.

Now that you have some idea of different acts of kindness, what are you waiting for? A kindness act begins with you, and the person pays it forward.

“Spreading kindness is like spreading the love.”

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Accepting what is

Acceptance, according to Buddhist principles, is the belief in accepting what is. Accepting life as it comes. Accepting one’s responsibility and action. Accepting one’s personality and qualities, both positive and negative. It is a concept that embraces karma as well as fate. It is a way of going with what is rather than resist and become distressed with what is not. It means surrendering control and power to the unforeseeable forces of nature and the universal laws of cause and effect. It can be an unfamiliar and challenging notion to practice if you have strong precedence to control your life. To begin accepting what is means letting go of the locus of control. Letting go of what you think you have control of in your life.

Acceptance is a concept of belief that recognises the validity of a thing or situation as it is. It is a conscious act with a positive intention for open-mindedness. It is to perceive something or a problem with a realistic view without judgement, assumption or supposition. In Psychology, acceptance is a catharsis, and it is a process of healing our cognition and emotion. But, if we can extend acceptance to all aspect of our lives and ourselves, we can come to a place of peace.

However, to accept something or someone, we need to understand ourselves implicitly. It means looking within to check our belief system, mindset, prejudices and judgement that we hold from our lived experiences. It is about observing our ethical and moral values. As social beings, humans are generally easily influenced, and our actions impact those around us. As we are influenced by others, we believe some of the things others say, especially those we idealised. As we accept those individuals, we are shaped by those in our environment in conformity. If something that we received differs from those we already believed, there will be an internal conflict. If we are stifled by others for our unique thinking, we may become a scapegoat or an outcast, which also causes inner dissonance.

To be able to accept what is, here are a few tips that I have tried and tested. They are the tools and strategies that work for me over the years in training and practising as a therapist. They may seem like common sense, but sometimes the simplest things are most effective.

“The greatest gift of enlightenment to give to anyone is to share it.” – Buddha.

Here are some helpful tips to accepting what is

  • Letting go of things (and people) that are unhelpful to you for the moment while you work through your processes and learning how to accept what is. This could mean walking away from a difficult situation without a resolution. It could also mean physically letting go of your attachment to those things and people, and you will need to be disciplined in sticking to your decision. I found it most challenging to let of an unhealthy friendship. Even with positive intention, you cannot control the reaction that will be present in the other when they feel rejected as you let go of the relationship.
  • Recognise that you can change the thing that you can and cannot change the thing that you cannot. This is about realising what is within your control and boundary. You can change your behaviours and your actions, but you cannot change those in others.
  • Acknowledge the loss of letting go. When you consciously acknowledge something, you have an understanding of it happening, even if you have a belief around it. You might believe that you needed some space to work through an emotional reaction to something that a friend has said. As you let go of the relationship to process your response, you will experience a loss. The loss needs to be processed, and by giving yourself time, you are working through forgiving your grief.
  • Find your pleasure and soothe yourself in the learning process and in the grief. We often take self-care for granted, but it is now one of my favourites. Finding what makes you happy and joyous is a way to appreciate ourselves. You can easily build a self-care ritual into your daily routine. The trick is to find that joy. In the learning process, you can explore what makes you smile. In the grieving process, you can find what will comfort those tears. In the anxieties of facing the unresolved situation, you might discover that mindfulness help. Use your inner healer or go on an inner vacation with these meditations.
  • See, feel and know that it is not personal. Set your intentions to honestly look at the situation. Feel and experience the tension so that you can learn from it. Acknowledge what happened has a reason, even if this reasoning is not yet clear to you. Even if you suspect ill-intention from others, you can say to yourself internally that this too shall pass. You cannot change the way other feels. You can only change your perception.
  • Adopt a self-forgiveness policy. Forgiveness is a process or action that pardon someone, something or ourselves. It can be difficult, but with practice, you can learn it too. Forgiveness is about removing the blame from the other, including yourself. It is about having compassion for your action, response and those of others too. Forgiveness works well with love and understanding in conjunction with a compassionate mind.
  • Surrender. When you stop resisting, you will become receptive to the situation, a thing and people. To surrender means to let go and submit to what is. This is not the same as giving up, however. When you surrender to what is, you are opening up to spirituality and faith. This is a soulful experience of relinquishing control and trusting in life and the universe. The intention is to release the embodied experience and free the spirit to the constraint of the existential dilemma. It is similar to letting to, but you are doing it at the soul level. Try meditation and work on developing trust.

Accepting what is is a personal challenge that I sometimes struggle with because mistakes happen in the reality of a situation, especially in a relationship. It is an ongoing process, and one should not place emphasis on achieving and then forgetting it. It is not about ticking the box, and you are done with it. But, the more you practice and adopt this way of being, the more familiar you will become with accepting things, situation, people, life and yourself.

“Peace comes from within. Do not resist it.” – Buddha.

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Mental Health Awareness

Mental health is a recognition of our psyche and our psychological wellness. It is a way of looking at the conditions of the mind and relating to the mind. And when we look at the psyche, we also need to consider the health of the mind. In an acknowledgement of our state of mind, we will understand and have an awareness of our mental health.

In the same way, as we take care of our physical health, the body. We would ensure that we get enough sleep, eat well, exercise and have adequate rests. It is now becoming more apparent that we would benefit from taking care of our mental health, the mind. It would ensure that we are mindful of reducing stress tension on the grey areas of the brain, improving planning, helping with problem-solving abilities, and enhancing concentration and mental clarity.

As a therapist, I work with clients to connect the body, feelings and mind to promote wholeness within an individual. However, in this month’s blog, I want to address the mental aspect of wellness and to be more aware of your mental health.

Mental health has been a challenge that has recently spiked on the global scale since the pandemic. It has long been a part of Western societies since the birth of psychiatry, and possibly longer than that. Mental disturbances are a challenge that poses psychological and physical discomfort in the individual. Mental disturbances can range from worrying about your loved ones to concern for their safety and welfare. It is any disturbances that are constructed in the mind. The longer we are exposed to these disturbances, the more problem it poses on our mental health. Thus, our mental wellness depends on the way we think and how we construct our inner world.

Not only that, there are some judgements towards people with mental health issues as well. There are also prejudices or preconceived ideas that people may have towards someone with mental health problems, not necessarily based on reasons or experiences. These individuals’ subjective experiences can often do more harm than good to any person experiencing mental illness or disorder. Within the awareness of mental health problems, I will also address the stigma behind mental health awareness.

To understand mental health further, I want to begin by highlighting the four primary types of mental illnesses. They include:

  • Anxiety disorders such as panic disorder, obsessive-compulsive disorder, extreme fears and phobias.
  • Depressive disorders such as depression, bipolar disorder and mood disorder.
  • Personality disorders such as maladaptive behaviour, self-defeating and self-destructive behaviour.
  • Psychotic disorders such as schizophrenia and psychosis.

These four major types of mental illnesses extend to other psychological conditions, potentially leading to poor mental health, especially over a long period of suffering. Our mental wellness includes all aspects of the mind, including our thinking, thought processes, the mental construct, perception, psychological framework, and social wellbeing.

The influences of those around us shaped our sense of Self. The conditioning and the way we were brought up will impact the mental aspect of our health. If we experienced a positive, nurturing, and supportive environment, we are likely to foster a healthy mental state. But, if our experience was negative, hostile and unsupportive, we are likely to have an adverse mental state. This can worsen our cognitive processes and further distort our inner view of the world.

“A negative mind will never give you a positive thoughts.” – Buddha.

Furthermore, when our mental being is fragile with a negative experiential outlook, we can become sensitive to experiences with others. As our feelings are heightened, our emotions might get the better of us. Before we become aware of our mental state, we have just control of our behaviour and action. As we internalised the external problem, we often conclude that we overreacted to a situation. However, that may not be the case. But, it is possible that, in the heat of the moment, our outburst was confused with it being exaggerated or misinterpreted as dramatic. As the individual suffering from mental health picks up these unhelpful cues, it can be read as insensitive or judgmental. This seemingly minor engagement can have a detrimental effect on a person with mental sensitivity.

Mental health awareness is the ability to develop compassion for ourselves and our mental construct as well as the mental capability of another. It is also about treating ourselves and others the way we would like to be treated. It is about watching our thoughts and thinking well of ourselves and others. Having an awareness of our thought processes give us realisation. In the realisation, we become compassionate with ourselves and how our mind works things out.

Here are my helpful tips on how to be more aware of your mental health wellbeing.

  • Watch your mental construct

Watch your internal self-talk. Watch how you talk to yourself, including the use of your language. Listen to how your mind makes sense of the situation, how you read things, and how it is constructed in your mental images.

For example, if you see yourself sitting in the waiting room, tapping your feet. The underlying observation might be that your behaviours indicated nervousness or impatience, depending on what follows your thoughts. Anxiety, for instance, is a construct that follows a set of behaviour and thought pattern.

  • Observe your inner feelings

“It is easier to see the faults in others and blame others than it is to look within and see our own faults.” – Buddha.

Observe your internal feelings and emotions in response to your behaviour and initial thoughts. Thoughts give rise to our internal state, which drives our behaviour and action. If you can recognise your inner feelings in response to your thinking, you can notice that you can own your emotions. Sometimes, we blame others or the situation for how it makes us feel, but if you are truly honest with yourself, you will see that your thoughts about the situation or person trigger your emotions and feelings. Isn’t it time you take responsibilities for how you think and feel?

In the above example, observing your inner feeling might include seeing what it is about waiting that is anxiety-provoking for you. Are you feeling nervous about the meeting, which then led you to tap your feet nervously?

“Be patient, be yourself, judge nothing and everything will come to you when the time is right.” – Buddha.

  • Notice your response to a situation

Notice your response to a situation or person. Notice your behaviours and reaction to a situation or person can help bring awareness to mental processes. Your response to others or condition depends on your subjective experiences. However, your personal experiences are not the whole of you. It is only a part of you as a whole. Having an understanding of your behaviour will you help maintain control of yourselves and your behaviour. It also projects confidence to others in the way you remained in control of yourself. If you cannot control yourself or your response, how do you expect others to respond to you?

  • Check your unconscious gain

“Appreciate what is and expect nothing because life is what is it.” – Buddha.

Unconscious gain is a complex mental process that the individual has no awareness of the self-serving proceeding activities. It is often an attempt to reduce anxieties and distress within oneself. Can you be honest with yourself and admit your unconscious gain? If you can be honest with yourself, you can begin to have a relationship with yourself. Being honest with yourself means acknowledging your behaviour, feelings and action. Can you recognise that you may have overreacted in a situation because you did not like being accused of something? Can you admit that you may have lost control in an attempt to defend yourself in an argument? Realising your unconscious gain behind your behaviours will help you understand your needs.

In the above example, the unconscious gain behind tapping your feet while in the waiting room might be your way of alleviating the inner nervousness.

“It is better to conquer yourself than win other’s battle. Then the victory is reward that no one can take away from you.” – Buddha.

  • Reframe your belief system

Reframing your belief system is simply a way to think differently about your belief system. It is about changing your mindset to mindful. It is a way of challenging your thoughts, beliefs and then change them. It is adaptive and flexible thinking.

A belief system is a mindset that you have established or learned based on lived experiences. It is your mind-set-in-stone. It is a rigid belief about something or someone. In contrast, mindfulness is a conscious and flexible approach to thinking. If you can challenge your idea, you can begin to improve your thought processes, leading to mental wellness.

Per the above example, you might have negative experiences of waiting for something or someone. Your negative experience might include negative feelings such as rejection. Thus, this might have given rise to a mindset that waiting will lead to bad news or bad feelings. If this was the belief, you could ask yourself, what evidence do you have that indicated that waiting (this time round) means that you will also receive bad news? Where is it written or documented that waiting equates to rejection? Remember that just because you had that bad experiences in the past does not mean that all future outcome will be the same.

Reframing your belief can be difficult if people around you still reinforces the idea. It would help if you have the will (volition) to challenge the thought. If you are struggling with reframing, ask yourself what the benefit of having the belief is? Who is benefiting from the mindset? How is the belief serve you?

“What you believe becomes your reality because the thoughts created in your mind, the mind makes it happens.” – The Law of Belief.

  • Challenge yourself to change the way you think

Challenge yourself to change your thinking pattern and find an alternate way to look at things. There is no wrong way to challenge your thoughts. Any form of challenge is the right way, I’d say. One of the easiest ways to challenge yourself is to question yourself—questions like why, what, or how are a great way to get your mind to rethink the problem. Why did I think that waiting here today, at this appointment, means that it will be the same as the last meeting? What makes me think that this appointment will turn out like the last one? How is this meeting the same as the previous?

You are more than your mind. Therefore, you are more than the way you think and what you think. Thinking is just what you happen to do because the brain does not shut up. Thoughts will always intrude on the psyche. But, thought forms, and then they disappear. When you give focus, attention and meaning to the ideas, your thinking and other thought-forms arise to become problematic. It is at this point that having a compassionate mind is helpful. If we fight against our thoughts, we are essentially fighting against ourselves. Let’s face it, why does anyone want that internal struggle.

Like anything in life, the more you practice, the more proficient you will become. Having an awareness of ourselves helps us to know more about our wellness. Plus, learning things about ourselves should be an enjoyable experience. What’s not to like about yourself?

“Your purpose in life is to find your purpose, and you can find it by giving your heart and soul to the journey of discovery.” – Buddha.

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Heal while you sleep

Generally, it is recommended that we have at least eight hours of sleep a night. That’s a third of our 24-hours day. I don’t know about you, but I don’t always get eight hours, even if I get to bed at a reasonable time. Why do many of us have trouble sleeping? I want to address this a little closer.

“Sleep is the best medicine.” – Dalia Lama.

Sleep is essential, and there are many health benefits. There are lots of literature on this topic and many helpful articles. Some of the advantages of a good night sleep include; rested body and rested mind, improve memory, concentration and cognitive functions, lower your blood pressure, reduces heart diseases, stress, depression and increase immunity. You will also be happy to know that a restful sleep can lead to weight loss as your body continues to produce hormones ghrelin and leptin while you enjoy your slumber.

During the nocturnal hours, your body’s naturally crave sleep because your internal biological clock or the circadian rhythm is synchronised with the day/night cycle of the diurnal rhythm. The circadian rhythms determine our physical, mental and behaviour changes in the flow of the 24-hour cycle. It is essentially your internal biological body clock. Whereas the diurnal cycle is any environmental pattern that recurs every 24 hours as one full rotation, such as the day/night or the high/low tide. Thus, it can be seen as an external environmental clock.

When these two rhythms are synchronised, your mind, body and state will benefit from nature therapy. As you sleep, your body works to repair your internal organs, muscles, cells and regenerates. Melatonin is a hormone naturally produced by the pineal gland during sleep. Deep in the brain, near the epithalamus, situated above the thalamus, is the pineal gland, also known as the ‘third eye’. Melatonin also helps to control your circadian rhythm and regulates health and healing hormones. Thus, you can heal yourself during your sleep.

There are many reasons why people experience sleeping problems from mild, acute to chronic sleep disorders such as insomnia, sleep apnea, narcolepsy, restless legs syndrome or REM sleep behaviour disorder such as sleepwalking.

The inability to sleep or sleep well at night depends on your internal and external stressors, mental states, food that you have eaten and health condition. Many other factors also prevent us from sleeping, include anxieties, traumas and crises can interfere with our sleep habit as we lay down to rest. Unfortunately, this cacophony rings in our mind, and it can ruminate in the psyche as we sleep, becoming a nightmare that disrupts our natural healing process. If you take your woes to bed, when you close your eyes and managed to get a wink of sleep, it won’t be long before the problem invades your dreams. What you mentally think about will become your mental reality within the dream state.

Many of us have trouble sleeping because we take these problems to bed with us. I’ve done it. I had a bad day and could not shake off something that happened that day. As I replayed these in my mind, in bed, they became my nightmare.

Have you ever gone to bed after an argument? Or, after emotional distress such as being made redundant, how did you sleep? Restless, I wager.

How to heal yourself in your sleep? Let me share what works for me.

  • Pre-bedtime slow down

Have a goal in mind for your bedtime (sleep time). This is a time that you want to be in bed, lights out, eyes shut and breathing easily.

Make your preparation for slowing down and winding down. Begin to relax.

Have a glass or bottle of water ready for bedtime, if required.

Keep other electronics blue lights out of the bedroom, as this disrupts the sleep cycle. Turn off electronic devices.

Brush your teeth and have your comfort break. I often find that washing my face often help. If you are a night-time shower person, this works, as water is soothing and calming.

Get into your PJ if you wear clothes to bed.

  • Build a bedtime ritual that works for you

I firmly believe that rituals are helpful. Have a bedtime routine and pattern that you stick to help you build a structure around your sleeping habit. I cannot stress the importance of sticking to your routines and think positively about enjoying the mundane.

For me, I have a bedtime alarm set daily at 22.00 hour. This gives me half an hour of downtime before I get in bed at 22.30.

  • Make time for relaxation or meditation before bedtime

I give myself around 10-15 minutes for relaxation. In that time, I may mediate or listen to soothing, relaxing music to ease myself to sleep. You might find my Evening Review meditation script helpful. Some people watch TV in bed, I think it is a personal choice for everyone. Some people read to relax. The trick here is not to be engrossed in the activity.

  • Self-Hypnosis and breathing

By 23.00, lights out for me, regardless of whether my husband or I am ready. I turned off the light.

I have trained myself to sleep as soon as my head is on the pillow. I can be fast asleep almost immediately in bed. But occasionally, might not be able to get to sleep. I noticed that I had ruminated over some event during the day or upcoming. In this instance, I recite my script and begin self-hypnosis or observe my breathing. I focused on my breathing, the rise and fall of each breath, and counted backwards from 100 to 1. I have never reached number one because I was always asleep way before this.

Then, you simply allow the body to do the rest. The more you relax when you are in bed, the more your body heal. God bless, sleep tight.

However, I am aware that some people have adverse experiences due to historical trauma and wounding. If this is your case, I would recommend seeking further help through counselling, as these bedbugs will continue to disrupt your sleep.

“Sleep is the golden chain that ties health and our bodies together..” – Thomas Dekker.

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Listen to your Heart-Mind

Before I started my counselling and psychological training, I considered myself logical, practical and empirical. I thought that I was intellectually compassionate, articulately skilled and communicatively empathic. While that may be true, I later realised that I was ‘mind-identified’ and I am more than my mind.

I used to live in my head, and the majority of my decisions were made from cognitive rationale and intellectualisation. In so doing, I relied on the thinking mode to process, analyse, and make sense of things. I believe that we were conditioned and measured by our intellects, especially in educational establishments such as school, college and universities etc. It is the most tangible method of measurement in modern societies, it seems. But, it goes deeper than that. We were also taught in the family system, perhaps unconsciously. Remember the time when your parents make a comparison of your achievement against your siblings?

However, that may be, I think that the cognitive mind is just one part of the physical body. I believe that our physical body is the vehicle of the spiritual body. Both parts reside unanimously and cooperative as one harmonious dualistic being. Their composites are like the Taijitu duo, the yin and yang.

  As a psycho-spiritual therapist, I believe that the physical body has two ‘minds’; the cognitive-mind and the heart-mind. Therein, the brain is the cognitive-mind, and the heart is the heart-mind. It might help if you think of the brain as the all-knowing ‘supercomputer’. Memories, experiences, and programmings are stored. Thus, the heart is the ‘operator’, the user, the decision-maker. Imagine making your decisions from the heart. Henceforth, I want to discuss the concept of heart-mind further because I believe that this is the primary and the brain is secondary.

Researchers had proved that during the mitosis in the cell division process, after conception, the heart is the first organ to form in utero. As the primary organ, the heart developed a complex circuitry system using bloodstream to obtain nutrients and eliminate wastes to be transported to and from the embryo and the mother for growth. As the embryo develops further, other organs and system formed to complete the human evolutionary process, and the foetus is formed. It is not until after four weeks after conception that the neural tube is connecting the spinal cord to the brain to complete the foetus’ circuitry system. After which, the heart begins to beat. Therefore, the heart is more than a mere ‘pump’. It is from the heart that your emotions are associated.

Although the concept of the heart-mind is not something new to metaphysics, it is less well known generally. When I began my training as the Body Code practitioner, I appreciated energy works and energy from the heart.

 The heart has an energy centre known as the Heart Chakra or Anahata, is located near the heart area. The heart emits energy from the body. The electromagnetic field produced by the heart is more than 60 times greater than the brain. The auric field exerts about 12 feet outwards. The heart is symbolic to love, compassion, kindness, warmth and much more.

If we can relate to people from the heart, image what that would be like. If you can find a way to relate to others with the heart, how would you feel?

Personally, for me, this means deep empathy and loving feelings. I am talking about unconditional love, pure love, without any peremptory request or demand. You might want to understand your love language before you carry on reading.

When your heart-mind emits love and compassion, in accordance with the natural order of the universal law, specifically, the law of attraction, love will return to you, as it is received by another. You will notice signs of love in another person’s eye, and you will feel the emotions.

How do you listen to your heart-mind?

  • Ask yourself, how do you make decisions?

If you use your mind to think about making a decision, it is safe to say that you are not as connected to your heart-mind. If you take time to ponder a decision or find it difficult to make up your mind, you are probably mind-identified. Decision-making from the heart-mind often comes from a ‘feeling’ or an intuition. The heart is our source of love, creativity and inspiration. Sometimes, decisions from the heart are illogical, baseless, spontaneous and impulsive.

Before completing my MA, I attended a workshop from sheer curiosity. By the end of the day, my mind was made up to participate in the training programme. I’d made my decision based on a feeling. I did not consider how I was going to finance the studies or whether I could afford it. My application went in, and when it got accepted, the realisation of cost, time and commitment came into play.

  • Ask yourself, how do you feel about x?

 Place your hand on your heart and literally listens to the harmonious, rhythmic heart beating. It should beat in a gentle rhythm, the soft sounds of the tempo should be melodic and not like an offbeat syncopation. Listen to your gentle, beating heart and notice your senses. Do you feel any tingling, flood of warmth or goosebumps? These are the sensation of energy moving through your body, surging and filling you with good feelings. A loving feeling has the highest frequency, as mentioned in last month’s blog.

If you have children, you should feel a mother’s love for a child. It is the truest, selfless love. It is often boundless, and there is nothing you would not do for that child. It is non-obsessional, non-sexual, healthy and unconditional. In an ideal world, this is the loving feeling that should experience growing up.

More often than not, our experiences are less than ideal. But, this does not mean that we can’t learn to connect to that unconditional love within. We can learn to love our inner child. However, If you find it challenging to feel unconditional love, perhaps you have a ‘heart wall’. A heart wall is a blockage to the heart. It is a (metaphorical) wall that we put up to defend ourself from heartaches. If you suspect that you have a blockage to the heart and love, you might benefit from emotional code sessions.

  • Learn to speak from the heart

 Speaking from the heart will inevitably help. It may seem awkward and strange at first, but you will become more comfortable with practice. Speaking from the heart is not about talking ‘mushy’, over-sentimental or pretentious, but preferably with genuineness and sincerely. Speaking with feeling is speaking from the heart. It is about speaking your truth.

You might find it helpful to name the emotion and how you may feel when you convey it. For example, think of the word ‘nervousness’. As you think about this emotion, consider how it might also be to feel it in the body in response to feeling nervous. You might be nervous when speaking up in a room full of people or in a large group. As think about the things that you make you ‘nervous’, also, say ‘I am nervous about…because…’. In our example, you might say, ‘I am nervous about speaking up in a large group full of people’.

Say this a few times until you can really feel the emotion and feeling nervous. In your inner body, you might hear your voice becoming shaky, trembling a little bit. In your outer body, you might start to feel the bead of sweat running down your back and becoming flush or hot.

Have fun with the experience and try using other emotion and feel different intensity which different feeling convey. When you can elicit a sentiment of your words, you’d have mastered ‘speaking’ from the heart. Well done!

  • Use the I/Thou language

 When you speak to others, notice your language, the word you use and in what context. If you can relate to others from an adult to adult, not from an adult to a child or a parent, you are halfway to using the I/thou language. This concept simply means speaking to someone compassionately while taking responsibility for your feeling, words, and language. Here is an example of an I/though language:

I – When you shout, I find it difficult to understand you fully, and it hurts my feelings.

Thou – Although, you are shouting at me, and blaming me. I strongly object, and I do not take it personally. But I also feel angry and hurt at the way I am treated by you.

I know it is challenging in a situation when you are at the receiving end of a barrage of emotional attack. Suppose you can address the problem objectively, without taking it personally. In that case, it is the best way to get your point across.

  • Watch your conscious and unconscious thoughts

 This is probably the most important tip. Believe it or not, but your thoughts are being heard by others. Even if you never speak it, what you think about consciously is being received ‘telepathically’ by the other person. We unconsciously broadcast the ‘unspoken’ conscious thoughts into our energetic field.

Have you ever wonder why a bully picks on someone? It is because they are attuned to receiving the negative self-abuse from others. Suppose you consciously think about being hurt by others, feeling insecure and unsafe with another. In that case, you are sending out negative broadcasts. This could also be conveyed in your body language and body posture.

Negative broadcasts are something that I am aware of. Still, I was unaware that even though I thought of myself as altruistic, I was broadcasting, ‘I am unimportant’, and ‘I am not safe’. These vibrational frequencies were stuck within the body, which I had to eliminate through energy clearing.

Now that you have an awareness that our conscious and unconscious thoughts impede speaking from the heart – watch what you think. As the messages are broadcast, like a radio tower. Your heart cannot communicate soulfully.

I hope that this blog has been helpful, and if you would like more details about energy work or energy healing, please contact me for more information.

If you would like a personal experience of an energy healing session, please visit Energy Works for more details.

“Thinking about love is not the same as having loving feeling. Thinking about love is an idealisation. But, feeling love is unconditionally so powerful that no word is necessary.” – Patch Welling.

Do you find this blog helpful? If you like this post, I love to hear from you on my Twitter Page.

Motivation is Key

Motivation is the key to many reasons for our action and behaviour—here’s why.

Motivation is a drive that guides, influences, initiates, and stimulates our action and behaviour. It is the cause of the effect. It is a force that inspires you to action, whether this is to get out of bed in the morning, exercise or taking up a new hobby.

When you are motivated; the emotions are engaged, allowing the mind to become creative, thus allowing social connections to activated behaviours.

You may lack motivation for any number of reasons, whether it is due to depression, worries, avoidance or simply lack of interests. The reasons you lack motivation is mostly unconscious. The current mental strategies learned in the past have outgrown their resourcefulness. They become ineffective and you just need news ones.

Here are some new ideas and the keys to motivations. Give them a try, and see what works for you.

1. A good enough reasoning.

You need your own good enough reasons to get motivated. What is your good enough reason to get out of bed in the morning? You could stay in bed all day, for sure? But, then, you will be more tired, lethargic and hours of excuses later, you’re still in bed! Feeling lazy and cannot be bothered to get up or get dressed.

Thinking yourself contented is an illusion of the mind keeping you stuck. Motivation is a good enough reason to act or behave in a particular way in order to accomplish something desirable. It is an energetic force that encourages and promotes movement and reaction to planning, implementing and doing. The narrative that drives motivation is mostly positive.

Any reason to get out of bed is a good enough reason. Perhaps you need to get to the bathroom. Perhaps you need a glass of water. Whatever the reason, it is done, you’re out of bed, aren’t you? It is not worth going back there, you will not be able to sleep for a while now that you awaken.

2. Soothing sounds of the opposite.

Whatever your excuses that you used to tell yourself not to get out of bed in the morning, do the opposite. Whatever justification that you have given to yourself for delaying or avoiding taking up exercise, do the opposite. However, you conclude the rationale behind your lack, it is essential that you speak to yourself, kindly. Whispers the benefits of taking up exercise. Incite excitement in visualising trim waistline. Encourage yourself to go out walking, running etc.

Kindness is one the recipe for motivation. It is a beneficial interest that you are kind to yourself rather than dictating yourself to do something. When you speak, lovingly, to yourself, it is the soothing melody to sweet co-operation.

3. Rebelling against helplessness. 

Feeling overwhelmed by helplessness dampened motivation. Helplessness is a struggle when we feel a loss of control. The loss of control is a result of an internal struggle. Rebelling against feeling helpless is the natural proclivity to eliminate the psychological attachment.

Acknowledging your helplessness, without accepting the hopelessness of the situation is the conscious approach to breaking free from this mindset. You may be helpless about your expanding waistline, but, you are not hopeless in changing and doing something about it. Believing that you are not helpless is motivating. Then, you will be able to see solutions, plan, and act on a desirable, and achievable outcome.

4. Rethink the mundane.

Exercise may seem mundane through repetition, just as doing cleaning or chores. Nonetheless, these mundane tasks need to be addressed in the psyche. What you think influences your participation and action. If you think that the mundane is boring, then it is. But, if you rethink the mundane to be fun and enjoyable, then it is. Easy.

Reframing your thoughts and thinking patterns helps you to become motivated. Thinking of the desired goal in mind is the best way to approach the mundane. Thinking about fitting into the smaller sized clothes. Thinking about feeling great from the induced endorphins. Think about a clean and neat home rather than the action of cleaning. Think about a full fridge rather than trolling through the supermarket. Think about feeling refreshed and invigorated from the shower rather than the getting up and out of bed. Rethink your thoughts, and think only of things that motivate you.

5. Lack of motivation by attachment.

Many of us can deny that we have problem attachment. If you keep telling yourself something long enough, you will come to believe it. Don’t believe me, keep denying yourself that. What have you got to lose, but time, confidence, self-esteem and your volition?

Problem attachment is an unhealthy emotional dependency on something or someone. It is an unhelpful clinging on that is negatively pleasurable. The unresourcefulness of hoarding is an attempt to fulfil a feeling of lack, emptiness and loneliness. All of which discouraged motivation through numbing. As our feeling is numbed, you become discouraged and lose sight of a purpose and will power. As you are overwhelmed by difficult emotions, you become increasingly dissatisfied and suddenly you find yourself on a hamster wheel, going round and round in a circle becoming dizzy.

Let go of the hoarding. Let go of the negative emotional attachment to the object, thing or belief. Let it go completely and get rid of it if you can. Get rid of the belief by challenging it. Holding onto excessive body-weight, for example, might be an unconscious attempt to protect you from emotional pains such as grief, loss or abuse by shielding you with your body-fat. Address your emotional pain and then let go of the belief. Challenge your belief with questions like, is it absolutely true, is there a law that says your body-fact protects you from emotional pain?

How are you going to motivate yourself? What did you find useful or helpful? Perhaps these tips gave you the inspiration to come up with your own resourceful ways to motivate yourself. I love to hear from you on my Twitter Page.

“Act as if what you do, or the way you behave makes a difference – because it does.”

– William james