Category: Compassion

Accepting what is

In Compassion, Coping Strategies, Coping Strategy, Inspiration, Mental Wellbeing, Motivation, Self Help, Self-care, Self-Development, Trust, Wellness

Acceptance, according to Buddhist principles, is the belief in accepting what is. Accepting life as it comes. Accepting one’s responsibility and action. Accepting one’s personality and qualities, both positive and negative. It is a concept that embraces karma as well as fate. It is a way of going with what is rather than resist and become distressed with what is not. It means surrendering control and power to the unforeseeable forces of nature and the universal laws of cause and effect. It can be an unfamiliar and challenging notion to practice if you have strong precedence to control your life. To begin accepting what is means letting go of the locus of control. Letting go of what you think you have control of in your life.

Acceptance is a concept of belief that recognises the validity of a thing or situation as it is. It is a conscious act with a positive intention for open-mindedness. It is to perceive something or a problem with a realistic view without judgement, assumption or supposition. In Psychology, acceptance is a catharsis, and it is a process of healing our cognition and emotion. But, if we can extend acceptance to all aspect of our lives and ourselves, we can come to a place of peace.

However, to accept something or someone, we need to understand ourselves implicitly. It means looking within to check our belief system, mindset, prejudices and judgement that we hold from our lived experiences. It is about observing our ethical and moral values. As social beings, humans are generally easily influenced, and our actions impact those around us. As we are influenced by others, we believe some of the things others say, especially those we idealised. As we accept those individuals, we are shaped by those in our environment in conformity. If something that we received differs from those we already believed, there will be an internal conflict. If we are stifled by others for our unique thinking, we may become a scapegoat or an outcast, which also causes inner dissonance.

To be able to accept what is, here are a few tips that I have tried and tested. They are the tools and strategies that work for me over the years in training and practising as a therapist. They may seem like common sense, but sometimes the simplest things are most effective.

“The greatest gift of enlightenment to give to anyone is to share it.” – Buddha.

Here are some helpful tips to accepting what is

  • Letting go of things (and people) that are unhelpful to you for the moment while you work through your processes and learning how to accept what is. This could mean walking away from a difficult situation without a resolution. It could also mean physically letting go of your attachment to those things and people, and you will need to be disciplined in sticking to your decision. I found it most challenging to let of an unhealthy friendship. Even with positive intention, you cannot control the reaction that will be present in the other when they feel rejected as you let go of the relationship.
  • Recognise that you can change the thing that you can and cannot change the thing that you cannot. This is about realising what is within your control and boundary. You can change your behaviours and your actions, but you cannot change those in others.
  • Acknowledge the loss of letting go. When you consciously acknowledge something, you have an understanding of it happening, even if you have a belief around it. You might believe that you needed some space to work through an emotional reaction to something that a friend has said. As you let go of the relationship to process your response, you will experience a loss. The loss needs to be processed, and by giving yourself time, you are working through forgiving your grief.
  • Find your pleasure and soothe yourself in the learning process and in the grief. We often take self-care for granted, but it is now one of my favourites. Finding what makes you happy and joyous is a way to appreciate ourselves. You can easily build a self-care ritual into your daily routine. The trick is to find that joy. In the learning process, you can explore what makes you smile. In the grieving process, you can find what will comfort those tears. In the anxieties of facing the unresolved situation, you might discover that mindfulness help. Use your inner healer or go on an inner vacation with these meditations.
  • See, feel and know that it is not personal. Set your intentions to honestly look at the situation. Feel and experience the tension so that you can learn from it. Acknowledge what happened has a reason, even if this reasoning is not yet clear to you. Even if you suspect ill-intention from others, you can say to yourself internally that this too shall pass. You cannot change the way other feels. You can only change your perception.
  • Adopt a self-forgiveness policy. Forgiveness is a process or action that pardon someone, something or ourselves. It can be difficult, but with practice, you can learn it too. Forgiveness is about removing the blame from the other, including yourself. It is about having compassion for your action, response and those of others too. Forgiveness works well with love and understanding in conjunction with a compassionate mind.
  • Surrender. When you stop resisting, you will become receptive to the situation, a thing and people. To surrender means to let go and submit to what is. This is not the same as giving up, however. When you surrender to what is, you are opening up to spirituality and faith. This is a soulful experience of relinquishing control and trusting in life and the universe. The intention is to release the embodied experience and free the spirit to the constraint of the existential dilemma. It is similar to letting to, but you are doing it at the soul level. Try meditation and work on developing trust.

Accepting what is is a personal challenge that I sometimes struggle with because mistakes happen in the reality of a situation, especially in a relationship. It is an ongoing process, and one should not place emphasis on achieving and then forgetting it. It is not about ticking the box, and you are done with it. But, the more you practice and adopt this way of being, the more familiar you will become with accepting things, situation, people, life and yourself.

“Peace comes from within. Do not resist it.” – Buddha.

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Mental Health Awareness

In Compassion, Coping Strategy, Inspiration, Mental Wellbeing, Motivation, Self Help, Self-care, Self-Development, Wellness

Mental health is a recognition of our psyche and our psychological wellness. It is a way of looking at the conditions of the mind and relating to the mind. And when we look at the psyche, we also need to consider the health of the mind. In an acknowledgement of our state of mind, we will understand and have an awareness of our mental health.

In the same way, as we take care of our physical health, the body. We would ensure that we get enough sleep, eat well, exercise and have adequate rests. It is now becoming more apparent that we would benefit from taking care of our mental health, the mind. It would ensure that we are mindful of reducing stress tension on the grey areas of the brain, improving planning, helping with problem-solving abilities, and enhancing concentration and mental clarity.

As a therapist, I work with clients to connect the body, feelings and mind to promote wholeness within an individual. However, in this month’s blog, I want to address the mental aspect of wellness and to be more aware of your mental health.

Mental health has been a challenge that has recently spiked on the global scale since the pandemic. It has long been a part of Western societies since the birth of psychiatry, and possibly longer than that. Mental disturbances are a challenge that poses psychological and physical discomfort in the individual. Mental disturbances can range from worrying about your loved ones to concern for their safety and welfare. It is any disturbances that are constructed in the mind. The longer we are exposed to these disturbances, the more problem it poses on our mental health. Thus, our mental wellness depends on the way we think and how we construct our inner world.

Not only that, there are some judgements towards people with mental health issues as well. There are also prejudices or preconceived ideas that people may have towards someone with mental health problems, not necessarily based on reasons or experiences. These individuals’ subjective experiences can often do more harm than good to any person experiencing mental illness or disorder. Within the awareness of mental health problems, I will also address the stigma behind mental health awareness.

To understand mental health further, I want to begin by highlighting the four primary types of mental illnesses. They include:

  • Anxiety disorders such as panic disorder, obsessive-compulsive disorder, extreme fears and phobias.
  • Depressive disorders such as depression, bipolar disorder and mood disorder.
  • Personality disorders such as maladaptive behaviour, self-defeating and self-destructive behaviour.
  • Psychotic disorders such as schizophrenia and psychosis.

These four major types of mental illnesses extend to other psychological conditions, potentially leading to poor mental health, especially over a long period of suffering. Our mental wellness includes all aspects of the mind, including our thinking, thought processes, the mental construct, perception, psychological framework, and social wellbeing.

The influences of those around us shaped our sense of Self. The conditioning and the way we were brought up will impact the mental aspect of our health. If we experienced a positive, nurturing, and supportive environment, we are likely to foster a healthy mental state. But, if our experience was negative, hostile and unsupportive, we are likely to have an adverse mental state. This can worsen our cognitive processes and further distort our inner view of the world.

“A negative mind will never give you a positive thoughts.” – Buddha.

Furthermore, when our mental being is fragile with a negative experiential outlook, we can become sensitive to experiences with others. As our feelings are heightened, our emotions might get the better of us. Before we become aware of our mental state, we have just control of our behaviour and action. As we internalised the external problem, we often conclude that we overreacted to a situation. However, that may not be the case. But, it is possible that, in the heat of the moment, our outburst was confused with it being exaggerated or misinterpreted as dramatic. As the individual suffering from mental health picks up these unhelpful cues, it can be read as insensitive or judgmental. This seemingly minor engagement can have a detrimental effect on a person with mental sensitivity.

Mental health awareness is the ability to develop compassion for ourselves and our mental construct as well as the mental capability of another. It is also about treating ourselves and others the way we would like to be treated. It is about watching our thoughts and thinking well of ourselves and others. Having an awareness of our thought processes give us realisation. In the realisation, we become compassionate with ourselves and how our mind works things out.

Here are my helpful tips on how to be more aware of your mental health wellbeing.

  • Watch your mental construct

Watch your internal self-talk. Watch how you talk to yourself, including the use of your language. Listen to how your mind makes sense of the situation, how you read things, and how it is constructed in your mental images.

For example, if you see yourself sitting in the waiting room, tapping your feet. The underlying observation might be that your behaviours indicated nervousness or impatience, depending on what follows your thoughts. Anxiety, for instance, is a construct that follows a set of behaviour and thought pattern.

  • Observe your inner feelings

“It is easier to see the faults in others and blame others than it is to look within and see our own faults.” – Buddha.

Observe your internal feelings and emotions in response to your behaviour and initial thoughts. Thoughts give rise to our internal state, which drives our behaviour and action. If you can recognise your inner feelings in response to your thinking, you can notice that you can own your emotions. Sometimes, we blame others or the situation for how it makes us feel, but if you are truly honest with yourself, you will see that your thoughts about the situation or person trigger your emotions and feelings. Isn’t it time you take responsibilities for how you think and feel?

In the above example, observing your inner feeling might include seeing what it is about waiting that is anxiety-provoking for you. Are you feeling nervous about the meeting, which then led you to tap your feet nervously?

“Be patient, be yourself, judge nothing and everything will come to you when the time is right.” – Buddha.

  • Notice your response to a situation

Notice your response to a situation or person. Notice your behaviours and reaction to a situation or person can help bring awareness to mental processes. Your response to others or condition depends on your subjective experiences. However, your personal experiences are not the whole of you. It is only a part of you as a whole. Having an understanding of your behaviour will you help maintain control of yourselves and your behaviour. It also projects confidence to others in the way you remained in control of yourself. If you cannot control yourself or your response, how do you expect others to respond to you?

  • Check your unconscious gain

“Appreciate what is and expect nothing because life is what is it.” – Buddha.

Unconscious gain is a complex mental process that the individual has no awareness of the self-serving proceeding activities. It is often an attempt to reduce anxieties and distress within oneself. Can you be honest with yourself and admit your unconscious gain? If you can be honest with yourself, you can begin to have a relationship with yourself. Being honest with yourself means acknowledging your behaviour, feelings and action. Can you recognise that you may have overreacted in a situation because you did not like being accused of something? Can you admit that you may have lost control in an attempt to defend yourself in an argument? Realising your unconscious gain behind your behaviours will help you understand your needs.

In the above example, the unconscious gain behind tapping your feet while in the waiting room might be your way of alleviating the inner nervousness.

“It is better to conquer yourself than win other’s battle. Then the victory is reward that no one can take away from you.” – Buddha.

  • Reframe your belief system

Reframing your belief system is simply a way to think differently about your belief system. It is about changing your mindset to mindful. It is a way of challenging your thoughts, beliefs and then change them. It is adaptive and flexible thinking.

A belief system is a mindset that you have established or learned based on lived experiences. It is your mind-set-in-stone. It is a rigid belief about something or someone. In contrast, mindfulness is a conscious and flexible approach to thinking. If you can challenge your idea, you can begin to improve your thought processes, leading to mental wellness.

Per the above example, you might have negative experiences of waiting for something or someone. Your negative experience might include negative feelings such as rejection. Thus, this might have given rise to a mindset that waiting will lead to bad news or bad feelings. If this was the belief, you could ask yourself, what evidence do you have that indicated that waiting (this time round) means that you will also receive bad news? Where is it written or documented that waiting equates to rejection? Remember that just because you had that bad experiences in the past does not mean that all future outcome will be the same.

Reframing your belief can be difficult if people around you still reinforces the idea. It would help if you have the will (volition) to challenge the thought. If you are struggling with reframing, ask yourself what the benefit of having the belief is? Who is benefiting from the mindset? How is the belief serve you?

“What you believe becomes your reality because the thoughts created in your mind, the mind makes it happens.” – The Law of Belief.

  • Challenge yourself to change the way you think

Challenge yourself to change your thinking pattern and find an alternate way to look at things. There is no wrong way to challenge your thoughts. Any form of challenge is the right way, I’d say. One of the easiest ways to challenge yourself is to question yourself—questions like why, what, or how are a great way to get your mind to rethink the problem. Why did I think that waiting here today, at this appointment, means that it will be the same as the last meeting? What makes me think that this appointment will turn out like the last one? How is this meeting the same as the previous?

You are more than your mind. Therefore, you are more than the way you think and what you think. Thinking is just what you happen to do because the brain does not shut up. Thoughts will always intrude on the psyche. But, thought forms, and then they disappear. When you give focus, attention and meaning to the ideas, your thinking and other thought-forms arise to become problematic. It is at this point that having a compassionate mind is helpful. If we fight against our thoughts, we are essentially fighting against ourselves. Let’s face it, why does anyone want that internal struggle.

Like anything in life, the more you practice, the more proficient you will become. Having an awareness of ourselves helps us to know more about our wellness. Plus, learning things about ourselves should be an enjoyable experience. What’s not to like about yourself?

“Your purpose in life is to find your purpose, and you can find it by giving your heart and soul to the journey of discovery.” – Buddha.

Do you find this blog helpful? If you like this post, I love to hear from you on my Twitter Page.

Bless the Stress

In Compassion, Coping Strategies, Coping Strategy, Emotions, Mental Wellbeing, Self Help, Self-care, Stress, Wellness

We cannot escape our daily stress as much as we want to eliminate the tension and pressure of life. In this month’s blog on stress awareness, I want to highlight the different aspects of stress, healthy vs unhealthy, stress types, including stress symptoms.

In everyday conversation, the word stress can conjure many different meanings to the speaker and the listener because of our subjective experiences. I might say that I’m stressed when I am under pressure at work or when other people put a strain on me.

A stressful situation for one person will inevitably be different. People are divergent and will have a different way to view or manage problems. From our lived experiences, these individuals can often draw upon their internal resources to cope with stress. However, it does not mean that you can’t learn to build your inner strength.

 

“Stress is a mental state; both emotional and physical arise due to tension, pressure or strain from an adverse or demanding person or situation.”

Stress is a mental state; both emotional and physical arise due to tension, pressure, or strain from an adverse or demanding person or situation. It is a drama in the psyche and manifested as a reaction, co-created into a reality. Any thoughts, conditions or circumstances can create stress in any person. I find that it is helpful first to check whether stress is healthy or unhealthy.

Healthy stress occurs in situations when your reaction is in proportion to the circumstance. For example, the day before an important job interview, you might be stressed because of additional urgent work requests from your line manager. The added pressure of the extra workload on top of nervousness for tomorrow’s interview is healthy stress when you can manage both challenges.

Unhealthy stress occurs when your reaction is out of proportion to the circumstance—sticking to the same scenario above. When stress overwhelmed the person, it becomes unhealthy. If this person becomes panicky and angry at the urgency of the request, combined with automatic negative thoughts of the must or should, and voila. The individual may make mistakes, creating unnecessary time constrain to the additional workload. The problem can quickly escalate and inundate the person’s feeling, emotions and reactions, magnifying the situation.

How we think and react can create or break the situation into a stressful or stress-free one. There are three main types of stress; acute, episodic and chronic. I shall now review the different kinds of stress in more details.

Acute stress is any situation that develops quickly but does not usually last longer than a month or so. The event is often severe due to an unexpected crisis or trauma, such as loss of a relationship, job or identity. If the symptoms persist longer, it could lead to a disorder, such as post-traumatic stress disorder. In which case, please, seek medical assistance from a qualified physician.

Episodic stress is any situation that frequently occurred, expected or unexpected. It often arises from recurring conditions that caused repeated stressful reaction. There may be a pattern to episodic stress, such as in the workplace, household, or specific person.

Chronic stress is any situation that causes prolonged emotional and psychological disturbances. In this situation, the stress may initially begin as acute stress, which became a problem over a long period of time, sometimes many years.

As you become aware of your stress level, you also need to know your stressful sources, whether internal or external. Any form of stress that lasts more than a week can become a problem if it is not processed. Processing begins internally within ourselves. We have to look within for the source of our emotional and psychological reaction to the situation. If you can start to take responsibilities for your stress and acknowledge the feelings, emotions, behaviours and reactions, you are on the road to change.

“Processing begins internally within ourselves.”

Unfortunately, we are the culprit for much of our stress as we can also put pressure on ourselves. A perfectionist may put pressure on herself to do a good job. Add a ‘must’, ‘should’ or ‘ought to’, ‘got to’ to the inner voice or belief, and you have the individual thinking, ‘I must do a good job’ or ‘I got to be good at my job’.

Sometimes knowing symptoms of any distress within yourself can be helpful, as you can check whether your reaction is in proportion or disproportion to the circumstance.

Some of the physiological symptoms of stress include:

  • Aches, pains and tense body or muscles.
  • Upset or knotted stomach, IBS, diarrhoea, constipation, sickness, nausea.
  • Low energy, tiredness, fatigue, sleeplessness.
  • Chest pain, rapid heartbeat, hotness, sweating, redness, feeling flush.
  • Headaches, earaches, dry mouth, clenched or grinding teeth, including a locked jaw.

Some of the emotional symptoms of stress include:

  • avoidance, avoiding others, avoiding confrontation.
  • Depression, low moods, or moodiness.
  • Anxiety, feeling overwhelmed, or feeling panicked.
  • Irritability, anger, frustration, anger and aggressive outbursts.
  • Loneliness, isolation, feeling like a failure, feeling useless.

Some of the cognitive symptoms of stress include:

  • Problem focusing, concentrating or thinking.
  • Poor judgement, or make an incorrect decision due to panicking.
  • Worrying, obsessing or compulsivity.
  • Constantly ruminating about the negatives.
  • Have doubts about one’s ability, knowledge and skills.
  • Unable to make a decision, unsure and uncertain about making decisions.
  • Thinking about old stresses and past events.

Some of the behavioural symptoms of stress include:

  • Nervousness, twitching, nail-biting, teeth grinding, pacing etc.
  • Being jumpy, shaky or freezes in reaction to situation, person or circumstance.
  • Prone to violence, hostility, disruptive or defiance behaviour, including sabotage.
  • Increase or decrease food consumption.
  • Increase consumption of alcohol, smoking or drug use.
  • Increase compulsivity for exercise, gambling, or other maladaptive behaviours.
  • Self-harming.

The thing to note is that you can learn to manage your stress. Everyone can learn how to cope with their emotional, physical stress. We are all capable of re-educating ourselves. Learning to discover something new out ourselves is a joy. I had found that you can make learning fun, exciting, explorative and curious. Suppose you can hold this concept when you learn about yourself in a stressful situation. In that case, you will become appreciative and compassionate about yourself and the stresses around you because you are not your stress. Here are a few pointers:

  • Know your triggers

Knowing your trigger will help you notice your stress pattern. Knowing this fact may be helpful to master your internal emotional reaction in a stressful situation. Knowing is an acknowledgement or awareness of what was previously elusive to you. It is about being conscious of what was unconscious about you.

One of my triggers used to be that I was highly anxious about travelling to someplace new without knowing where to park. The stress of finding a parking space was thought-provoking. I was worried about not finding a spot to park safely. I was maximising the problem by creating a traffic jam within my mind. I was anxious about being late as a result of not finding a safe spot for the car.

  • Know your reactions

 Know your reaction will help you notice how you were in the situation. Knowing this fact may help you see, feel, or think about your response and healthy or unhealthy. Knowing that will help you sense how you are within yourself and how you responded to the situation, including those around you. Knowing this will help you decide whether or not you might need to change and try reacting differently.

In the stressful situation above, I would create a dramatised, visualised scenes. My mind could create a drama. I imagined driving around, looking for the perfect spot for the car. I would imagine an accident or road work creating a delay in my travel. I could feel myself walking in the meeting late, being hot and bothered.

  • Know your thoughts

Knowing what you think about will help you make sense of your inner voice. Listening to what you say and how you talk to yourself in a stressful situation will help you become in control of the situation, rather than allowing the problem to control you. We are often overly critical of ourselves. We can be the harshest critique. But, if we can be compassionate and kinder to ourselves, we can be free of the thoughts and let them go easier.

In my mind, in the above situation, I was critical. I used to say that I was a drama queen! I used to say that I was attention-seeking as I ran into class late. I used to think that I was unorganised, chaotic and unable to prioritise. I used to believe that I would be ‘told off’ if I was ever late for appointments.

  • Learn to speak to yourself differently

Now, try learning to speak to yourself differently. If you used to shout at yourself internally, why not try speaking softly this time. Hopefully, you will notice that the impact is dramatically reduced. You may start to notice an alternate feeling associated with the gentle inner voice. You also may hear yourself speaking using contrasting words, kinder and loving expression. The change begins with small and enlarges, like a ripple.

I noticed my inner critique, and I named her. The inner voice was familiar. I recognised her from before. She was an archetype of someone in the long distant past. Naming her helped me to notice her, and thus I became aware of how she had created the inner stress, which manifested in situations in my external world. She had been the causes of my tensions. When I noticed that, I noted that I had choices. I chose to change her tone, and I chose to look at her different until I see her in a different light.

Having an awareness of your stress can be helpful in most situation or circumstance, but it is also a great way to learn something new about yourself.

After all, learning something new about the self is especially exciting to psychological growth and spiritual development.

“Stress begins like a ripple. It starts of small but can quickly turn into somthing larger and bigger.”

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Recognising and Developing Compassion

In Compassion, Coping Strategies, Coping Strategy, Inspiration, Mental Wellbeing, Self-Development

To have compassion for others, one must realise Self-compassion first. Compassion is the ability to recognise suffering in oneself and others, and then taking action to alleviate the suffering through kindness, understanding, and love.

In today’s society, with many diverse inequalities, it may seem difficult to have compassion or empathy, but it is probably needed the most. It is the most undoubtedly positive quality than bitterness, anger and resentment.

Qualities of compassion promote positive emotional response and mindset; however, it should not be compared to empathy. Compassion is a deep feeling for oneself and another person, whereas empathy is the ability to be alongside the other person, or in their shoes. The emotional response when perceiving suffering in oneself or another triggers an authentic desire and wishes to take action, to assist, to alleviate and to help – but not to eliminate or deny.

Even if you do not think that you have compassion, the good news is that being compassionate is a skill, just like many which can be developed and learned.

But how does one recognises or develops compassion for oneself?

  1. Be kind to yourself and others

I consider being kind to oneself as the most essential part of having compassion. It is a daily practice that takes lots of discipline, especially if you have a proclivity to beat yourself up. It is a process that takes patience to develop warmth and understanding of our sufferings, failures and inadequacies. It can be challenging to be mindful of the automatic negative thoughts that had previously been inclined to look at imperfections and flaws. But, it is with kindness, gentleness and acceptance that our emotional response will change toward ourselves first, and then our compassion for others will shortly follow.

  1. Practice acting and behaving compassionately

Practice mindfulness and notice when you not being kind to yourself. Mindfulness is a conscious awareness of one own’s state by observing one’s thinking and thoughts. It is a willingness to be truthful to oneself and one’s perception. And when you noticed that you belittle yourself or experienced feeling frustrated with yourself; you simply notice it. Have an awareness of what was said, and the feeling felt. Then, gently recognise that making a mistake is inevitable and acceptable. Recognise that perfection is an illusion. Recognise that you will forget to observe your automatic thoughts at times. Recognise that through practice being aware of your thoughts, you will shortly notice them quicker. It is through awareness acceptance that your emotional response will become positive.

  1. Avoid judgement and criticism of Self and other

Notice your use of language and those automatic thoughts that cause negative emotions or painful feelings such as anger, doubt, guilt, hurt, or shame. Words, thoughts or labels that might be used in the internal dialogue such as ‘I am so bad…clumsy, stupid, etc.’ are just some example to watch out. Stop using those negative criticism and judgement against oneself, and others are ways to develop compassion, through awareness and recognition.

  1. Be honest and altruistic

Honesty is the best policy. Be honest with yourself when you failed to recognise self-criticism or negative labelling. If you deny your mistake, you are ultimate being dishonest with yourself. Being honest about your failings, errors, and imperfection is part of learning and development. Being truthful about how you feel about failures help you confront the mindset associated with the experience. For example; if you failed a test/exam and you get angry with yourself for the failure, there would have been an associated thought accompanying this mindset, such as ‘Failing means I am useless’, which should be addressed. Recognising those thoughts and feelings is an honest way to deal with them. Being truthful in your reflection and observation are signs of honesty for your failure, which is the quality toward self-compassion.

  1. Do not set yourself a timeline

Being compassionate is an on-going process that promotes positive health and mental wellness; thus cannot have a time limit. Having compassion for oneself and others should be an on-going process of personal development. It is a quality that helps you in relationships, and it is a positive experience that changes your thinking pattern and developing altruism. If you set yourself a timeline, you are essentially putting a limitation on your growth and development, plus a whole load of unnecessary pressure and anxieties.

All learning starts with YOU, and then you influence others through your engagement and social interaction. Thus, compassion begins with Self-love, and then you can pass it forward. Once you recognised and developed self-compassion, you will soon find that you naturally develop compassion for others and the world.

“Compassion begins with Self-love and then it expands to encompass the people around you.” – Patch Welling.

Do you find this blog helpful? If you like this post, I love to hear from you on my Twitter Page.